Asking questions does not make you seem un-smart. In fact, asking good or genuine questions makes you seem intelligent enough to recognize your known unknowns, confident enough to admit it, and implies that you understood everything else they said. (if someone says Confusing Things A, B, C, and D, and you ask an intelligent question about C, then they assume that you understand A, B, and D much more than they otherwise would)
Other benefits:
Asking questions gives the other person the opportunity to teach you something, which will make them like you more.
The other person may feel grateful that you asked something they also wanted the answer to.
People like to have fun. Being good-natured about being laughed at sometimes (in a non-meanspirited way), means that people associate you with positive feelings.
That’s not to say that asking questions always has these benefits. I think what’s mainly important is HOW you ask a question.
Example- Someone is explaining their thesis. Normally people just nod along, and say “interesting”. Instead, do your best to follow what they are talking about. Ask questions to clarify. When you think you understand, state what you think they are saying as a question: “Oh, so the genes you are putting into the bacteria will cause them to stop producing that protein, and you’ll know if it works because then they’ll turn blue?”
Now, not only does the person actually think that you are smart, but they also are happy because they got a chance to explain their work to someone who understood it, and they will like you more.
Asking questions does not make you seem un-smart. In fact, asking good or genuine questions makes you seem intelligent enough to recognize your known unknowns, confident enough to admit it, and implies that you understood everything else they said.
While this is plausibly true of a fair chunk of the experiences people on LW have, from the human norm it is a rather odd situation where this holds.
Different cultures do things differently.
Asking questions gives the other person the opportunity to teach you something, which will make them like you more.
An extensive answer to a question is a form of investment. It won’t make them like you more. It will make them more likley to invest in you further, much like generally speaking a person is more willing to do you a large favour after they did you a small one.
This is not the same as them liking you more.
The other person may feel grateful that you asked something they also wanted the answer to.
True, but most of the warm fuzzies will go to the person answering the question.
People like to have fun. Being good-natured about being laughed at sometimes (in a non-meanspirited way), means that people associate you with positive feelings.
True. But your relative status matters here a lot.
Breaking the false dichotomy here.
Asking questions does not make you seem un-smart. In fact, asking good or genuine questions makes you seem intelligent enough to recognize your known unknowns, confident enough to admit it, and implies that you understood everything else they said. (if someone says Confusing Things A, B, C, and D, and you ask an intelligent question about C, then they assume that you understand A, B, and D much more than they otherwise would)
Other benefits:
Asking questions gives the other person the opportunity to teach you something, which will make them like you more.
The other person may feel grateful that you asked something they also wanted the answer to.
People like to have fun. Being good-natured about being laughed at sometimes (in a non-meanspirited way), means that people associate you with positive feelings.
That’s not to say that asking questions always has these benefits. I think what’s mainly important is HOW you ask a question.
Example- Someone is explaining their thesis. Normally people just nod along, and say “interesting”. Instead, do your best to follow what they are talking about. Ask questions to clarify. When you think you understand, state what you think they are saying as a question: “Oh, so the genes you are putting into the bacteria will cause them to stop producing that protein, and you’ll know if it works because then they’ll turn blue?”
Now, not only does the person actually think that you are smart, but they also are happy because they got a chance to explain their work to someone who understood it, and they will like you more.
While this is plausibly true of a fair chunk of the experiences people on LW have, from the human norm it is a rather odd situation where this holds.
Different cultures do things differently.
An extensive answer to a question is a form of investment. It won’t make them like you more. It will make them more likley to invest in you further, much like generally speaking a person is more willing to do you a large favour after they did you a small one.
This is not the same as them liking you more.
True, but most of the warm fuzzies will go to the person answering the question.
True. But your relative status matters here a lot.