Even if the word “rape” isn’t being used, it seems to me—and this may be a failure of imagination—that it nonetheless simulates rape, or at least something close to it.
There’s some nitpicking to be done about precise definitions of “degrading” and “violent”.
It seems fair to describe any pain play (at least if sufficiently intense and fast) as violent. And handing one’s date a flogger with a grin and a “Pretty please?” doesn’t look much like rape at all.
Here’s an example of very degrading sex that’s not rape play either. (The domme gives orders to the sub, and there’s one act the sub is reluctant to perform, but throughout the scene the sub expresses consent verbally and physically.) This story is extremely gross porn; there are two characters; the domme is a crossdressing woman; the sub is a woman; seriously I mean the “gross” part, you have been warned: Piggy, by Jen Cross.
It might be fair to classify all reluctance play as “simulating something close to rape” (e.g. “Stop hitting me”), and even anything involving restraints if you’re being very inclusive, but if someone’s begging to be hurt and to do something degrading (and there’s no roleplay where they’re being forced to or anything) I don’t see the resemblance.
people might be brainwashed by the patriarchy to go along with something their partner wants, but not to seek it out secretly.
You sure about that?
Nope! I just dismiss it as a Cartesian demon hypothesis. If you’re going to question what someone’s sincere introspection tells them they want when they think about it alone and at leisure and they never have to tell anyone about it, you might as well question your own impulse to question things; are you brainwashed by the patriarchy into slut-shaming women who have sex you don’t like, or into denying women’s agency, or into erasing female desire? Any amount of introspection that’s sufficient for you to decide you aren’t should also suffice for the person whose desires you’re questioning.
And if you’re not just questioning patriarchy-approved activities like intercourse and leg-shaving and slut-shaming, but also fetishes patriarchal thinking condemns as weird, you’d better also question your love of cunnilingus and cuddles and bra-burning.
Here’s an example of very degrading sex that’s not rape play either. (The domme gives orders to the sub, and there’s one act the sub is reluctant to perform, but throughout the scene the sub expresses consent verbally and physically.) This story is extremely gross porn; there are two characters; the domme is a crossdressing woman; the sub is a woman; seriously I mean the “gross” part, you have been warned: Piggy, by Jen Cross.
I didn’t read the story based on your warning and the fact that you gave a … synopsis … that seemed sufficient.
I think I see your point; it does seem possible that sex could independently be violent and degrading, for most values of “violent” and “degrading”, without utilizing rape play, although that would seem to be the easiest route.
It might be fair to classify all reluctance play as “simulating something close to rape” (e.g. “Stop hitting me”), and even anything involving restraints if you’re being very inclusive
That’s basically what I was thinking of.
if someone’s begging to be hurt and to do something degrading (and there’s no roleplay where they’re being forced to or anything)
Funny thing, but I seems to have been thinking that “degrading” meant nonconsensual. Which is stupid, now that I think of it. I guess “degrading” is an ambiguous term, come to think.
Thanks.
There’s some nitpicking to be done about precise definitions of “degrading” and “violent”.
It seems fair to describe any pain play (at least if sufficiently intense and fast) as violent. And handing one’s date a flogger with a grin and a “Pretty please?” doesn’t look much like rape at all.
Here’s an example of very degrading sex that’s not rape play either. (The domme gives orders to the sub, and there’s one act the sub is reluctant to perform, but throughout the scene the sub expresses consent verbally and physically.) This story is extremely gross porn; there are two characters; the domme is a crossdressing woman; the sub is a woman; seriously I mean the “gross” part, you have been warned: Piggy, by Jen Cross.
It might be fair to classify all reluctance play as “simulating something close to rape” (e.g. “Stop hitting me”), and even anything involving restraints if you’re being very inclusive, but if someone’s begging to be hurt and to do something degrading (and there’s no roleplay where they’re being forced to or anything) I don’t see the resemblance.
Nope! I just dismiss it as a Cartesian demon hypothesis. If you’re going to question what someone’s sincere introspection tells them they want when they think about it alone and at leisure and they never have to tell anyone about it, you might as well question your own impulse to question things; are you brainwashed by the patriarchy into slut-shaming women who have sex you don’t like, or into denying women’s agency, or into erasing female desire? Any amount of introspection that’s sufficient for you to decide you aren’t should also suffice for the person whose desires you’re questioning.
And if you’re not just questioning patriarchy-approved activities like intercourse and leg-shaving and slut-shaming, but also fetishes patriarchal thinking condemns as weird, you’d better also question your love of cunnilingus and cuddles and bra-burning.
I didn’t read the story based on your warning and the fact that you gave a … synopsis … that seemed sufficient.
I think I see your point; it does seem possible that sex could independently be violent and degrading, for most values of “violent” and “degrading”, without utilizing rape play, although that would seem to be the easiest route.
That’s basically what I was thinking of.
Funny thing, but I seems to have been thinking that “degrading” meant nonconsensual. Which is stupid, now that I think of it. I guess “degrading” is an ambiguous term, come to think.