Although your problems reinforce each other, you may be able to improve each problem independently. Think of it like untying a knot: You pull a bit at each loop in turn, and eventually everything loosens up. In particular, be careful of giving one node (e.g. achieving success as a writer, getting a degree) an exaggerated influence on other nodes (e.g. improving your relationships). And I deliberately phrase this with some ambiguity: Try not to hold any mistaken beliefs about how much one thing can improve another, but also don’t arrange your life so that one thing truly has a vulgar influence over other areas of your life, or let an obstacle in one area stop you from acting in some other area.
I’m not saying that your problems are actually independent or of equal priority, but in practice, trying to untie a knot by pulling at a single loop is a common mistake.
Similarly, the origin of a problem can be quite separate from its solution. I think this is the productive attitude to take concerning the past. Unless you can realistically expect that further reflection on your early relationships with your parents is going to uncover some new action you can take right now, or lead to some emotion resolution that (for some reason) hasn’t already happened, then well, don’t expect it. If you’ve thought about something for a while and aren’t making progress, you can leave it unresolved for now and move on. Maybe later things will be different. Despite the emotional pull of these problems, people seem to eventually internalize this attitude. At the very least, try to have a novel approach if you do think about these things.
More specific thoughts:
Do you want to visit your siblings and aunts? If so, you just do it and learn to roll your eyes when they talk about you “seeing sense”, or give advice or make comparisons. You’re not at all alone in being the black sheep of a family. Under many conditions, this is still compatible with having good relationships. Per above, don’t let your career problems (or their opinion of your problems) have undue sway over your relationships today, even if they developed in tandem, and don’t hold your breath for some moment of resolution. I would say something like “swallow your pride”, but in all honestly I think black sheep just learn to reclassify certain things as “nagging” and ignore them.
Can you sell to the English speaking market while living in Columbia? It’s not exactly easy to make a living as a writer anywhere, but the rough numbers I’ve seen thrown about for the English market look much better at a lower cost of living. The quality of your English seems fine.
There’s something of an honorable tradition of writers selling out. I suspect this is not as easy as writers imagine, but you could try it. It may even be fun.
As others have mentioned, is your aversion to business and economics something you want to change? Since your aversion is clearly rooted in circumstantial emotional history, you might still discover that the ideas themselves are interesting, once you remove the emotional baggage. Of course, the real business world is full of nonsense and boredom, but these aspects are easier to bear if you have some detached intellectual appreciation.
Although your problems reinforce each other, you may be able to improve each problem independently. Think of it like untying a knot: You pull a bit at each loop in turn, and eventually everything loosens up. In particular, be careful of giving one node (e.g. achieving success as a writer, getting a degree) an exaggerated influence on other nodes (e.g. improving your relationships). And I deliberately phrase this with some ambiguity: Try not to hold any mistaken beliefs about how much one thing can improve another, but also don’t arrange your life so that one thing truly has a vulgar influence over other areas of your life, or let an obstacle in one area stop you from acting in some other area.
I’m not saying that your problems are actually independent or of equal priority, but in practice, trying to untie a knot by pulling at a single loop is a common mistake.
Similarly, the origin of a problem can be quite separate from its solution. I think this is the productive attitude to take concerning the past. Unless you can realistically expect that further reflection on your early relationships with your parents is going to uncover some new action you can take right now, or lead to some emotion resolution that (for some reason) hasn’t already happened, then well, don’t expect it. If you’ve thought about something for a while and aren’t making progress, you can leave it unresolved for now and move on. Maybe later things will be different. Despite the emotional pull of these problems, people seem to eventually internalize this attitude. At the very least, try to have a novel approach if you do think about these things.
More specific thoughts:
Do you want to visit your siblings and aunts? If so, you just do it and learn to roll your eyes when they talk about you “seeing sense”, or give advice or make comparisons. You’re not at all alone in being the black sheep of a family. Under many conditions, this is still compatible with having good relationships. Per above, don’t let your career problems (or their opinion of your problems) have undue sway over your relationships today, even if they developed in tandem, and don’t hold your breath for some moment of resolution. I would say something like “swallow your pride”, but in all honestly I think black sheep just learn to reclassify certain things as “nagging” and ignore them.
Can you sell to the English speaking market while living in Columbia? It’s not exactly easy to make a living as a writer anywhere, but the rough numbers I’ve seen thrown about for the English market look much better at a lower cost of living. The quality of your English seems fine.
There’s something of an honorable tradition of writers selling out. I suspect this is not as easy as writers imagine, but you could try it. It may even be fun.
As others have mentioned, is your aversion to business and economics something you want to change? Since your aversion is clearly rooted in circumstantial emotional history, you might still discover that the ideas themselves are interesting, once you remove the emotional baggage. Of course, the real business world is full of nonsense and boredom, but these aspects are easier to bear if you have some detached intellectual appreciation.