FYI, my solution to my trust issues has been to accept them, and attack the other side of the trust coin: I remain as untrusting as before, I simply care less about the failure modes.
For me personally, this makes things a lot more entertaining. It becomes a game of seeing if I can predict if someone is going to violate my trust or not—I trust them with something trivial and unimportant to see what will happen. I expect and anticipate failure a lot of the time from my lab rats, and am usually pleasantly surprised when I don’t get it.
Over time I build up models of the people I can trust in various ways, but even with the best of them it winds up looking like airport landing times: even the most reliable route fails fairly often, but as long as it doesn’t cause cascading effects that’s ok.
With the job interview, it’s more of a one shot deal. Any solution for that scenario?
I simply care less about the failure modes.
The trouble is I want to be more trusting and open exactly in those instances when I care more about the outcome, when something significant is on the line.
FYI, my solution to my trust issues has been to accept them, and attack the other side of the trust coin: I remain as untrusting as before, I simply care less about the failure modes.
For me personally, this makes things a lot more entertaining. It becomes a game of seeing if I can predict if someone is going to violate my trust or not—I trust them with something trivial and unimportant to see what will happen. I expect and anticipate failure a lot of the time from my lab rats, and am usually pleasantly surprised when I don’t get it.
Over time I build up models of the people I can trust in various ways, but even with the best of them it winds up looking like airport landing times: even the most reliable route fails fairly often, but as long as it doesn’t cause cascading effects that’s ok.
With the job interview, it’s more of a one shot deal. Any solution for that scenario?
The trouble is I want to be more trusting and open exactly in those instances when I care more about the outcome, when something significant is on the line.
Practice when it doesn’t matter so that it comes as second nature when it does.