turn the opening sentence into a question, “Is cryonics pseudoscience ?”
change “is nothing more than wishful thinking” into “could be nothing more”, etc.
change “If you don’t believe that, you can read” into “This is the point of view argued in”
strike “This makes me sad, because”, so the sentence starts “To my naive eyes”
This way your hook is neutral enough to draw everyone in.
ETA: I would be careful with the £25/mo quote, until and unless you get a quote from Rudi Hoffman or elsewhere. At least mention that the pricing is one of those logistical issues you’ve promised to cover in further posts.
Suggested edits:
turn the opening sentence into a question, “Is cryonics pseudoscience ?”
change “is nothing more than wishful thinking” into “could be nothing more”, etc.
change “If you don’t believe that, you can read” into “This is the point of view argued in”
strike “This makes me sad, because”, so the sentence starts “To my naive eyes”
This way your hook is neutral enough to draw everyone in.
ETA: I would be careful with the £25/mo quote, until and unless you get a quote from Rudi Hoffman or elsewhere. At least mention that the pricing is one of those logistical issues you’ve promised to cover in further posts.