As it turns out, I consider myself worthy only when I’m better than someone, which sometimes takes the form of being able to help others, exert control over situations, or solve problems myself. This tends to spiral into feeling (self-)loathing when reading about some fictional people—Lazarus Long is a good example. At the moment, mental issues prevent me from consistently feeling worthy just for existing.
That’s really not the point. It’s because it’s so common and so easy to be worse than me that I don’t really take notice. Yes, I am aware that there is a critical error in thinking that, and then worrying about not being very good. I am attempting to resolve it.
As it turns out, I consider myself worthy only when I’m better than someone, which sometimes takes the form of being able to help others, exert control over situations, or solve problems myself. This tends to spiral into feeling (self-)loathing when reading about some fictional people—Lazarus Long is a good example. At the moment, mental issues prevent me from consistently feeling worthy just for existing.
There always¹ is someone somewhere worse than you.
i.e., about 99.99999998% of the times.
That’s really not the point. It’s because it’s so common and so easy to be worse than me that I don’t really take notice. Yes, I am aware that there is a critical error in thinking that, and then worrying about not being very good. I am attempting to resolve it.