I grew up in a Christian fundamentalist household, decided I was an atheist around the time I was 17 and also studied computer science in college.
Can I tell you somethings I wish someone had told me back when I was in my 20s? If yes, keep reading. But if you’re not keen on advice from olds, feel free to skip.
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It’s possible that when you come from one extreme, you try to correct by seeking other extremes, and that can leave you in a really awful place.
In my own experience, my inclination having been burned so much by Christianity early in life was that things that were the opposite of what the Christian culture I previously belonged to would have endorsed, were probably worth my time and would maybe would make a better person. I desperately wanted to be part of and accepted by the “secular non-church-going intelligentsia.” I wanted to be smart and accomplished but also have sex, drugs and parties but in a way that was… I don’t know. I still don’t know what I thought would happen. Like someday I thought I would reach a level of worldliness that would magically make things better.
That doesn’t really happen. If anything, I just got to a point where there was very little that shocked or impressed me anymore and I didn’t see much point in continuing to chase experiences along those lines.
Eventually I reluctantly realized the value of tradition. You’ll find yourself in places in life where there aren’t RCTs, or cog sci frameworks or the like to guide your decisions. Traditions are nice because they’re a low-resolution version of what worked for people who came before you, and they’re worth considering in those circumstances when making decisions.
While life with a tribe is sometimes a problem, life without a tribe presents its own difficulties. Granfalloons (nonsense) may be necessary to keep tribes together. I wrote about a bit about this in Mini thoughts on mintheism.
I think he will be fine as he mentioned faith and open-mind, but your story also helps us with some glance of faith experimentation. Expansion with faith seems exciting, partially because it is restricted. Thank you for sharing:)
Hey Nate!
I grew up in a Christian fundamentalist household, decided I was an atheist around the time I was 17 and also studied computer science in college.
Can I tell you somethings I wish someone had told me back when I was in my 20s? If yes, keep reading. But if you’re not keen on advice from olds, feel free to skip.
...
It’s possible that when you come from one extreme, you try to correct by seeking other extremes, and that can leave you in a really awful place.
Beware what Freud called “reaction formation” as a lifestyle choice. A good place to start is maybe with the literature on dogmatism. Milton Rokeach and people who have built on the work he did, for example. Understanding “Form E” as a psychometric and the variety of groups and people that tested high on it was very helpful. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233067345_Dogmatism_Updated_A_Scale_Revision_and_Validation
In my own experience, my inclination having been burned so much by Christianity early in life was that things that were the opposite of what the Christian culture I previously belonged to would have endorsed, were probably worth my time and would maybe would make a better person. I desperately wanted to be part of and accepted by the “secular non-church-going intelligentsia.” I wanted to be smart and accomplished but also have sex, drugs and parties but in a way that was… I don’t know. I still don’t know what I thought would happen. Like someday I thought I would reach a level of worldliness that would magically make things better.
That doesn’t really happen. If anything, I just got to a point where there was very little that shocked or impressed me anymore and I didn’t see much point in continuing to chase experiences along those lines.
Eventually I reluctantly realized the value of tradition. You’ll find yourself in places in life where there aren’t RCTs, or cog sci frameworks or the like to guide your decisions. Traditions are nice because they’re a low-resolution version of what worked for people who came before you, and they’re worth considering in those circumstances when making decisions.
While life with a tribe is sometimes a problem, life without a tribe presents its own difficulties. Granfalloons (nonsense) may be necessary to keep tribes together. I wrote about a bit about this in Mini thoughts on mintheism.
Sorry for the old man ramble. :)
I think he will be fine as he mentioned faith and open-mind, but your story also helps us with some glance of faith experimentation. Expansion with faith seems exciting, partially because it is restricted. Thank you for sharing:)