Keep in mind that not only would a divorce increase the probability of burnout, it would also reduce your ability to give. You’d have to pay all the living expenses currently covered by your husband’s salary, and it would be advisable to build up savings since relying on only one income you would be more vulnerable to unexpected events (job loss, illness, ect.). Marriage gives you the flexibility to donate all your income now; I think it’s reasonable to value it highly even from a purely utilitarian perspective.
As her husband, I would rather she didn’t have a utilitarian incentive to either stay married or divorce. I should probably figure out some set of promises about how I would spend money in the event of a divorce so that the expected impact is closer to neutral from a utilitarian viewpoint.
Keep in mind that not only would a divorce increase the probability of burnout, it would also reduce your ability to give. You’d have to pay all the living expenses currently covered by your husband’s salary, and it would be advisable to build up savings since relying on only one income you would be more vulnerable to unexpected events (job loss, illness, ect.). Marriage gives you the flexibility to donate all your income now; I think it’s reasonable to value it highly even from a purely utilitarian perspective.
As her husband, I would rather she didn’t have a utilitarian incentive to either stay married or divorce. I should probably figure out some set of promises about how I would spend money in the event of a divorce so that the expected impact is closer to neutral from a utilitarian viewpoint.
Sometimes I think our relationship has too much game theory in it. But this one is probably a good idea.
All relationships are full of game theory. Be happy you have one that’s more honest about that than most.