Again, hot girls will not take the status hit of dating an explicit or known philanderer, unless he is a super-alpha.
Um, what about all those married guys cheating on their wives? Not all their partners are deceived about the men’s marital status, and of those not deceived, surely not all can be dismissed as not being “hot girls” in your rating system, nor can all the men in such situations be dismissed as “super-alpha”.
So, your belief has too high a confidence rating, unless your definition of the “hot” set includes a term for “won’t date me except exclusively”, or your definition of the “super alpha” set is defined so as to exclude yourself. ;-)
(That being said, I’m not arguing that you change your belief or behavior instrumentally—just pointing out that, epistemically, your map is out of alignment with the territory.)
If the theory of hypergamy is correct, and women are indeed more selective on average, the large majority of women are typically going for guys who are at least slightly “out of their league” (which I will operationalize as “higher in rank attractiveness within ones gender).
My hypothesis is that lots of difficulties in dating between men and women stem from the same source: a difference in what each gender is willing to settle for. There may be a tendency of females to only settle for males of higher rank attractiveness, while males are willing to settle for females of “merely” equal rank attractiveness. Males want females at the same level of rank attractiveness, but those females are looking past those males at other males of higher rank attractiveness; meanwhile, males receive interest from women at lower levels of rank attractiveness, who they just aren’t that into.This means that both genders experience the same difficulty a lot of the time: what you can get, you don’t want, and what you want, you can’t get.
Um, what about all those married guys cheating on their wives? Not all their partners are deceived about the men’s marital status, and of those not deceived, surely not all can be dismissed as not being “hot girls” in your rating system, nor can all the men in such situations be dismissed as “super-alpha”.
So, your belief has too high a confidence rating, unless your definition of the “hot” set includes a term for “won’t date me except exclusively”, or your definition of the “super alpha” set is defined so as to exclude yourself. ;-)
(That being said, I’m not arguing that you change your belief or behavior instrumentally—just pointing out that, epistemically, your map is out of alignment with the territory.)
Which has got to be the worst definition of “super alpha” ever! ;)
del
If the theory of hypergamy is correct, and women are indeed more selective on average, the large majority of women are typically going for guys who are at least slightly “out of their league” (which I will operationalize as “higher in rank attractiveness within ones gender).
My hypothesis is that lots of difficulties in dating between men and women stem from the same source: a difference in what each gender is willing to settle for. There may be a tendency of females to only settle for males of higher rank attractiveness, while males are willing to settle for females of “merely” equal rank attractiveness. Males want females at the same level of rank attractiveness, but those females are looking past those males at other males of higher rank attractiveness; meanwhile, males receive interest from women at lower levels of rank attractiveness, who they just aren’t that into.This means that both genders experience the same difficulty a lot of the time: what you can get, you don’t want, and what you want, you can’t get.