Everything I said about consent applies just as much to women as to men. If he’s actually uninterested, tearing his clothes off or grabbing his crotch isn’t a signal, it’s sexual assault.
For the record, everything I said about consent applies just as much to women as to men. If he’s actually uninterested, tearing his clothes off isn’t a signal, it’s sexual assault.
Everything I say about consent applies to men as much as women. A guy does not have to verbally express a wish to have his clothes torn off for it to be ok. He too can use more natural means of communicating.
Furthermore judging either of these two as engaging in sexual assault is not a neutral or innocent act. It is invasive and damaging to your victims. As well as slandering their reputation the act of giving that label implies the need for and potentially causes a direct punishment and restriction of freedom. That is something I consider unacceptable (when done so aggressively and obviously dependent on degree of credible social threat.)
Furthermore judging either of these two as engaging in sexual assault is not a neutral or innocent act. It is invasive and damaging to your victims. As well as slandering their reputation the act of giving that label implies the need for and potentially causes a direct punishment and restriction of freedom.
Well I’m no fan of the criminal justice system either, but I’m trying to keep this on the topic of sexuality; if my anarchist leanings come into the conversation we’ll be here all week. :p
But anyway, please see my comment here. A person can nonverbally express their desires, and a person can correctly pick up on that expression and act upon it, but they can also incorrectly interpret the signals they’re getting. I’m saying that mistakes, although still rare, happen a lot more often than you’d think, and the consequences are serious enough that this is not an ethically acceptable position to take with a new partner. You need to ask.
A person can nonverbally express their desires, and a person can correctly pick up on that expression and act upon it, but they can also incorrectly interpret the signals they’re getting. [..] You need to ask.
Am I correctly inferring here that you believe, by contrast, that desires expressed in language, in response to a question asked in language, cannot be incorrectly interpreted? Or at least that such mistakes don’t happen “a lot more often than you’d think”?
Everything I said about consent applies just as much to women as to men. If he’s actually uninterested, tearing his clothes off or grabbing his crotch isn’t a signal, it’s sexual assault.
Everything I say about consent applies to men as much as women. A guy does not have to verbally express a wish to have his clothes torn off for it to be ok. He too can use more natural means of communicating.
Furthermore judging either of these two as engaging in sexual assault is not a neutral or innocent act. It is invasive and damaging to your victims. As well as slandering their reputation the act of giving that label implies the need for and potentially causes a direct punishment and restriction of freedom. That is something I consider unacceptable (when done so aggressively and obviously dependent on degree of credible social threat.)
Well I’m no fan of the criminal justice system either, but I’m trying to keep this on the topic of sexuality; if my anarchist leanings come into the conversation we’ll be here all week. :p
But anyway, please see my comment here. A person can nonverbally express their desires, and a person can correctly pick up on that expression and act upon it, but they can also incorrectly interpret the signals they’re getting. I’m saying that mistakes, although still rare, happen a lot more often than you’d think, and the consequences are serious enough that this is not an ethically acceptable position to take with a new partner. You need to ask.
Am I correctly inferring here that you believe, by contrast, that desires expressed in language, in response to a question asked in language, cannot be incorrectly interpreted? Or at least that such mistakes don’t happen “a lot more often than you’d think”?
If so, I’d say this is simply false.
I have never done so in the past and do not intend to start. I believe my behavior is appropriate and a desirable norm.