If anyone thinks otherwise, I challenge them to translate any of these guidelines into some specific instructions for action in a concrete situation that are both non-trivial and useful.
I agree with what you said about the advice being mostly ‘deeply wise’ and utterly useless or worse. But then you went and made a challenge. I was confident that I could take at least one of the guidelines and find it useful and potentially concrete purely by chance. 2 seemed to be the only candidate (and Skatche has already given a concrete translation.
Mind you Skatche’s “MOST IMPORTANT POINT” about 1 is totally wrong. 1 is the worst of the guidelines given. The one that will directly damage the success and enjoyment of life of those that follow it.
I’m glad you found something that worked for you. What worked for me was a bit different. By learning to hide insecurity and anxiety, rather than display it “honestly,” I actually felt those feelings less and less.
I would agree, once you actually get into the context of a friendship or relationship. I thinking of the earlier stages of interaction, where people who are socially struggling often hit a wall.
It seems to me that the entire PUA community has quietly decided that equal footing in courtship is not only hopelessly naive, but dangerously delusional.
Many would say that equal footing in courtship is not the default and that disadvantage is not something they need to settle for.
Maybe it’s, just, well… hard. A lot of worthwhile things are.
That they are willing to spend long hours of practice at creating their social skills suggests that they both acknowledge the difficulty and expect the experience to be worthwhile.
I just want to point out that, in this discussion with you, I’m simultaneously motivated by a desire to win and a desire to have the most accurate understanding of the world. But, I bet you know which one I’m more motivated by. And more importantly, why.
I agree with what you said about the advice being mostly ‘deeply wise’ and utterly useless or worse. But then you went and made a challenge. I was confident that I could take at least one of the guidelines and find it useful and potentially concrete purely by chance. 2 seemed to be the only candidate (and Skatche has already given a concrete translation.
Mind you Skatche’s “MOST IMPORTANT POINT” about 1 is totally wrong. 1 is the worst of the guidelines given. The one that will directly damage the success and enjoyment of life of those that follow it.
.
I’m glad you found something that worked for you. What worked for me was a bit different. By learning to hide insecurity and anxiety, rather than display it “honestly,” I actually felt those feelings less and less.
.
I would agree, once you actually get into the context of a friendship or relationship. I thinking of the earlier stages of interaction, where people who are socially struggling often hit a wall.
.
.
Many would say that equal footing in courtship is not the default and that disadvantage is not something they need to settle for.
That they are willing to spend long hours of practice at creating their social skills suggests that they both acknowledge the difficulty and expect the experience to be worthwhile.
I just want to point out that, in this discussion with you, I’m simultaneously motivated by a desire to win and a desire to have the most accurate understanding of the world. But, I bet you know which one I’m more motivated by. And more importantly, why.
.