In the Elevatorgate story I don’t think there was an unwelcome hug. On the other hand there was a guy with uncalibrated social skills that were so uncalibrated that they caused a public debate. I don’t think hugging tags would have helped in that situation. If the guy in question however would learn to read body language to an extend of being able to tell when a woman gets uncomfortable he would have feedback loops to be calibrated well enough to avoid gross faux pas like the one in Elevatorgate.
I still think that it’s good to have the tags at an LW event as they encourage people to hug each other who otherwise wouldn’t while allowing those uncomfortable with physical touch to opt out, but they are not a magic solution to all problems. The tags are useful crutches.
In the environment that created “Elevatorgate”, how long could you walk around asking people whether it’s okay to hug them, until someone would write a similar blog about you?
Getting asked to be hugged from a person you don’t want to hug is a pretty slight inconvenience, I don’t think anything that someone would find worthy to start a huge debate about.
What generally helps is giving people social feedback. Verbal feedback to those people who don’t understand the nonverbal one.
I heard that some people who were abused have very high ability to read other people’s body language; because for them it was a survival skill. (Not sure how reliable is this info, I remember only a fictional evidence.)
My priors for that claim being true are low. I would think you got it from the fictional evidence.
Being good at reading body language of other people often has a lot to do with being aware of your own body. Physical abuse often leads to shutting down bodily self awareness to reduce the amount perceived uncomfort.
In the Elevatorgate story I don’t think there was an unwelcome hug. On the other hand there was a guy with uncalibrated social skills that were so uncalibrated that they caused a public debate. I don’t think hugging tags would have helped in that situation. If the guy in question however would learn to read body language to an extend of being able to tell when a woman gets uncomfortable he would have feedback loops to be calibrated well enough to avoid gross faux pas like the one in Elevatorgate.
I still think that it’s good to have the tags at an LW event as they encourage people to hug each other who otherwise wouldn’t while allowing those uncomfortable with physical touch to opt out, but they are not a magic solution to all problems. The tags are useful crutches.
Getting asked to be hugged from a person you don’t want to hug is a pretty slight inconvenience, I don’t think anything that someone would find worthy to start a huge debate about.
What generally helps is giving people social feedback. Verbal feedback to those people who don’t understand the nonverbal one.
My priors for that claim being true are low. I would think you got it from the fictional evidence.
Being good at reading body language of other people often has a lot to do with being aware of your own body. Physical abuse often leads to shutting down bodily self awareness to reduce the amount perceived uncomfort.