The core B/E dichotomy rang true, but the post also seemed to imply a correlated separation between autonomous and joint success/failure modes: building couples succeed/fail on one thing together, entertaining couples succeed/fail on two things separately.
I have not observed this to be true. Experientially, it seems a little like a quadrant, where the building / entertaining distinction is about the type of interaction you crave in a relationship, and autonomous / joint distinction is about how you focus your productive energies.
Examples:
Building / Joint: (as above) two individuals building a home / business / family together
Building / Autonomous: two individuals with distinct careers and interests, who both derive great meaning from helping the other achieve their goals.
Entertaining / Joint: two individuals who enjoy entertainment and focus on that pursuit together. A canonical example might be childless couples who frequently travel, host parties, etc, or the “best friends who do everything together” couple everyone knows.
Entertaining / Autonomous: (as above) individuals with separate lives who come together for conversation, sex, etc.
I might be extra sensitive to this, my last relationship failed because my partner wanted an “EJ” relationship while I wanted a “BA” relationship, neither of which followed cleanly from the post.
The core B/E dichotomy rang true, but the post also seemed to imply a correlated separation between autonomous and joint success/failure modes: building couples succeed/fail on one thing together, entertaining couples succeed/fail on two things separately.
I have not observed this to be true. Experientially, it seems a little like a quadrant, where the building / entertaining distinction is about the type of interaction you crave in a relationship, and autonomous / joint distinction is about how you focus your productive energies.
Examples:
Building / Joint: (as above) two individuals building a home / business / family together
Building / Autonomous: two individuals with distinct careers and interests, who both derive great meaning from helping the other achieve their goals.
Entertaining / Joint: two individuals who enjoy entertainment and focus on that pursuit together. A canonical example might be childless couples who frequently travel, host parties, etc, or the “best friends who do everything together” couple everyone knows.
Entertaining / Autonomous: (as above) individuals with separate lives who come together for conversation, sex, etc.
I might be extra sensitive to this, my last relationship failed because my partner wanted an “EJ” relationship while I wanted a “BA” relationship, neither of which followed cleanly from the post.