Personal comment: I dislike the style of your writing. It’s probably just me; but I found it difficult to parse. I think I probably write and read differently.
For example:
Personally, I believe mapping things out, writing things down, and general planning skills are super helpful. We’ll explore all those ideas eventually, but the point is that I find that these utilizing these skills allows me to optimize my task completion process– not only do I finish in less time, but the quality of work is also improved.
I would write as:
Mapping things out, writing things down, and planning skills are super helpful. We will cover all these ideas later, but for now—utilising these skills allows me to optimise my ability to get done what I want to get done; to finish what I start. Not only do I finish in less time, but the final product is higher quality.
Or:
We can also divide actions into things we “have” to do (mandatory actions) and things we “can” do (voluntary actions). There are actions we have a choice in doing, and actions we may have less of a choice in doing. There is some overlap with the “fun” and “unfun” categories. Some mandatory actions are fun, some are unfun.
Voluntary activities can be fun or unfun, but I think most people would choose to do fun actions over unfun ones.
As:
We can divide actions into things we “must” do, (mandatory) and things we “want” to do (voluntary). There are actions we can choose to do, and actions we have less choice to do. There is some overlap with the “fun” and “unfun” categories. Some mandatory actions are fun, some are un-fun. Voluntary activities can be fun or un-fun, but for optional actions—people would choose to do fun actions over un-fun ones.
(I could make more examples; but I don’t think it will show anything more)
I don’t always like the metric of “have to”, and when talking about mandatory actions; there is a big grey zone. for example it’s mandatory that I breathe or I die, but you (and most people) probably consider “paying rent” as mandatory or else you won’t have a home. While it’s entirely optional to choose not to pay rent; it causes a lot of other things that you probably don’t want, like not having a place to store your possessions and having less life security.
It’s important to talk about this overlap (in this case and in other similar cases where there are overlaps) or else your audience will fall into the categories of “that made sense straight away” and “that didn’t make sense”. while it may take more time to cover grey zones; it helps people who fall into the “unclear” category at first. (Particularly—people who this makes sense to; don’t need to be reading it, people who are having difficulty making sense of the topic are the ones that need extra assistance to understand it.
Further:
For example, say we have to choose between watching an interesting television show that spans 7 seasons on Netflix, or we can read more of that Introductory Calculus textbook we just got.
this statement has an implied assumption that because “we just got” the calculus textbook, that it’s a goal to read the book and understand that information. while that’s a real “duh” moment for some people reading; the people who are saying, “I’d rather watch netflix” need to be explained that understanding calculus was a goal; therefore we purchased a textbook, therefore we want to read it. Along with this; deciding a goal and acting on it are important skills that are implied in what you wrote so far. I hope you can cover that more in the next pieces in the series.
Overall; a good start, I would encourage more polishing. Feel free to join the slack channel and share drafts for some feedback.
Wow, thanks for an in-depth piece of feedback. Since I’m trying to convey these ideas to a broader audience, I think I can definitely learn to improve the coherency and style of what I write so that it’s more understandable to more people.
Thank you for pointing out both the implicit assumption (which I had overlooked) and the grey area, too.
Personal comment: I dislike the style of your writing. It’s probably just me; but I found it difficult to parse. I think I probably write and read differently.
For example:
I would write as: Mapping things out, writing things down, and planning skills are super helpful. We will cover all these ideas later, but for now—utilising these skills allows me to optimise my ability to get done what I want to get done; to finish what I start. Not only do I finish in less time, but the final product is higher quality.
Or:
Voluntary activities can be fun or unfun, but I think most people would choose to do fun actions over unfun ones.
As:
We can divide actions into things we “must” do, (mandatory) and things we “want” to do (voluntary). There are actions we can choose to do, and actions we have less choice to do. There is some overlap with the “fun” and “unfun” categories. Some mandatory actions are fun, some are un-fun. Voluntary activities can be fun or un-fun, but for optional actions—people would choose to do fun actions over un-fun ones.
(I could make more examples; but I don’t think it will show anything more)
I don’t always like the metric of “have to”, and when talking about mandatory actions; there is a big grey zone. for example it’s mandatory that I breathe or I die, but you (and most people) probably consider “paying rent” as mandatory or else you won’t have a home. While it’s entirely optional to choose not to pay rent; it causes a lot of other things that you probably don’t want, like not having a place to store your possessions and having less life security.
It’s important to talk about this overlap (in this case and in other similar cases where there are overlaps) or else your audience will fall into the categories of “that made sense straight away” and “that didn’t make sense”. while it may take more time to cover grey zones; it helps people who fall into the “unclear” category at first. (Particularly—people who this makes sense to; don’t need to be reading it, people who are having difficulty making sense of the topic are the ones that need extra assistance to understand it.
Further:
this statement has an implied assumption that because “we just got” the calculus textbook, that it’s a goal to read the book and understand that information. while that’s a real “duh” moment for some people reading; the people who are saying, “I’d rather watch netflix” need to be explained that understanding calculus was a goal; therefore we purchased a textbook, therefore we want to read it. Along with this; deciding a goal and acting on it are important skills that are implied in what you wrote so far. I hope you can cover that more in the next pieces in the series.
Overall; a good start, I would encourage more polishing. Feel free to join the slack channel and share drafts for some feedback.
Hello Elo,
Wow, thanks for an in-depth piece of feedback. Since I’m trying to convey these ideas to a broader audience, I think I can definitely learn to improve the coherency and style of what I write so that it’s more understandable to more people.
Thank you for pointing out both the implicit assumption (which I had overlooked) and the grey area, too.