I’m not sure if the pressure comes from lying per se—it’s not as if the practice is recent or uncommon—or from having no place to go where you can escape the necessity to lie.
I believe it’s the latter. On emotional level, if I can’t speak openly with a person, I have a feeling like they “don’t belong to my tribe”, they are a stranger. There is a difference between being sometimes with strangers, and being alone among strangers, all the time.
It is much easier to have clear rules about when to use my “public” face, and when to relax and be myself. Using my “public” face increases my internal pressure; I need a place to talk about it and relax. If I don’t have that place, then I will lose attention in random moments, and expose my internal heresies. It is easier to keep control, if I have clear boundaries for when the hypocrisy begins and when it ends.
Having just one person to talk honestly with already helps a lot. (I am tired to google now, but there is probably some article on LW about how the first voice of dissent is most important.) It is much easier for me to think, if I can talk. Talking makes my thought processes much clearer. Not having a sane person to talk with is like not having a part of brain, or for a more realistic analogy, like being drunk or exhausted all the time.
I believe it’s the latter. On emotional level, if I can’t speak openly with a person, I have a feeling like they “don’t belong to my tribe”, they are a stranger. There is a difference between being sometimes with strangers, and being alone among strangers, all the time.
It is much easier to have clear rules about when to use my “public” face, and when to relax and be myself. Using my “public” face increases my internal pressure; I need a place to talk about it and relax. If I don’t have that place, then I will lose attention in random moments, and expose my internal heresies. It is easier to keep control, if I have clear boundaries for when the hypocrisy begins and when it ends.
Having just one person to talk honestly with already helps a lot. (I am tired to google now, but there is probably some article on LW about how the first voice of dissent is most important.) It is much easier for me to think, if I can talk. Talking makes my thought processes much clearer. Not having a sane person to talk with is like not having a part of brain, or for a more realistic analogy, like being drunk or exhausted all the time.