Yes. I understand that. But it is just as true for my friends, of whom I am very selective, and with whom I grow very close. I have only occasionally developed quasi-romantic feelings for (feelings that, given what I’m reading here, seem close enough to qualify as “in love with”) a friend. Why is that?
(Admittedly, both the people I’ve “fallen for” have been 1) of my preferred sex and 2) particularly awesome.)
People keep reminding me that it’s not a dice role, it’s a process, yet from my perspective it seem pretty random. I’ve never tried to “fall in love” and it’s a trope [fictionalized?] that you can’t control it. That’s why it’s described by FALLING. It seems a lot like a dice role!
But, maybe I’m not giving enough credence to individuals’ responsiveness to stimuli. Reviewing what I know about dating, it seem well designed for building a Pavlovian association between feelings of intimacy, attraction and pressure and the other person (for instance, candle light is romantic because low light conditions make the pupils dilate, just as they do when one is aroused. I wonder if seeing a movie is a popular date because it simulates highly emotional experience, that both people can undergo together, without the difficulties that accompany them such high emotions in life).
This is funny to me, because I have thought that dating, as it is usually practiced, is not a particularity good way to get to know someone well, but as is often the case, it’s not that it doesn’t work, it’s that it does something different than is advertized.
Yes. I understand that. But it is just as true for my friends, of whom I am very selective, and with whom I grow very close. I have only occasionally developed quasi-romantic feelings for (feelings that, given what I’m reading here, seem close enough to qualify as “in love with”) a friend. Why is that?
(Admittedly, both the people I’ve “fallen for” have been 1) of my preferred sex and 2) particularly awesome.)
People keep reminding me that it’s not a dice role, it’s a process, yet from my perspective it seem pretty random. I’ve never tried to “fall in love” and it’s a trope [fictionalized?] that you can’t control it. That’s why it’s described by FALLING. It seems a lot like a dice role!
But, maybe I’m not giving enough credence to individuals’ responsiveness to stimuli. Reviewing what I know about dating, it seem well designed for building a Pavlovian association between feelings of intimacy, attraction and pressure and the other person (for instance, candle light is romantic because low light conditions make the pupils dilate, just as they do when one is aroused. I wonder if seeing a movie is a popular date because it simulates highly emotional experience, that both people can undergo together, without the difficulties that accompany them such high emotions in life).
This is funny to me, because I have thought that dating, as it is usually practiced, is not a particularity good way to get to know someone well, but as is often the case, it’s not that it doesn’t work, it’s that it does something different than is advertized.
I would guess that low light also creates a small level of instinctive fear, which creates a desire to be together with someone (for protection).