When I was actually suicidal, what kept me from going through with it was:
1) Although my plan had three separate ways by which it could kill me, it was possible that all would fail, such that I would wind up still in all the pain that was driving me to kill myself, plus on life support machines and with people hovering over me annoying me.
2) I would actually have to get up and do it, which was effort.
When I told people about the plan in #1, though, it was because I wanted them to listen to me. I was back off the brink for some reaon, and I wanted to talk about where I’d been. Somebody who tells you they’re suicidal isn’t asking you to talk him out of it; he’s asking you to listen. Which is why the advice you were taught works. Someone who listens is a precious gift, there, where you can still feel the pull of suicide, even someone you suspect is listening just because they’re socialized/paid to do it.
On the other hand, when you’re out feeling the pull, you’ve had lots of (people you perceive as) idiots, giving you (seemingly) bad advice and (seemingly) pointless arguments. I, at least, didn’t want to hear yet another theory as to why suicide was a bad idea; frustration at such yammerers made suicide look like a better idea the longer they talked.
The advice you were given back in high school was distilled professional expertise. Evaluate carefully before you dismiss it.
When I told people about the plan in #1, though, it was because I wanted them to listen to me. I was back off the brink for some reaon, and I wanted to talk about where I’d been. Somebody who tells you they’re suicidal isn’t asking you to talk him out of it; he’s asking you to listen.
Just wanted to say that I relate very strongly to this. When I was heavily mentally ill and suicidal, I was afraid of reaching out to other people precisely because that might mean I only wanted emotional support rather than being serious about killing myself. People who really wanted to end their lives, I reasoned, would avoid deliberately setting off alarm bells in others that might lead to interference. That I eventually chose to open up about my psychological condition at all (and thereby deviate from the “paradigmatic” rational suicidal person) gave me evidence that I didn’t want to kill myself and helped me come to terms with recovering. Sorry if this is rambling.
Someone who listens is a precious gift, there, where you can still feel the pull of suicide, even someone you suspect is listening just because they’re socialized/paid to do it.
And when you pay them to do it they become a ‘valuable commodity’.
1) Although my plan had three separate ways by which it could kill me, it was possible that all would fail, such that I would >wind up still in all the pain that was driving me to kill myself, plus on life support machines and with people hovering over >me annoying me
Been there… and have indeed talked about these problems with a friend who once said she was contemplating suicide. But i wouldn’ t recommend this to all. I mean for most people the listening and trying to help them in their interest area can help better.
When I was actually suicidal, what kept me from going through with it was:
1) Although my plan had three separate ways by which it could kill me, it was possible that all would fail, such that I would wind up still in all the pain that was driving me to kill myself, plus on life support machines and with people hovering over me annoying me.
2) I would actually have to get up and do it, which was effort.
When I told people about the plan in #1, though, it was because I wanted them to listen to me. I was back off the brink for some reaon, and I wanted to talk about where I’d been. Somebody who tells you they’re suicidal isn’t asking you to talk him out of it; he’s asking you to listen. Which is why the advice you were taught works. Someone who listens is a precious gift, there, where you can still feel the pull of suicide, even someone you suspect is listening just because they’re socialized/paid to do it.
On the other hand, when you’re out feeling the pull, you’ve had lots of (people you perceive as) idiots, giving you (seemingly) bad advice and (seemingly) pointless arguments. I, at least, didn’t want to hear yet another theory as to why suicide was a bad idea; frustration at such yammerers made suicide look like a better idea the longer they talked.
The advice you were given back in high school was distilled professional expertise. Evaluate carefully before you dismiss it.
Just wanted to say that I relate very strongly to this. When I was heavily mentally ill and suicidal, I was afraid of reaching out to other people precisely because that might mean I only wanted emotional support rather than being serious about killing myself. People who really wanted to end their lives, I reasoned, would avoid deliberately setting off alarm bells in others that might lead to interference. That I eventually chose to open up about my psychological condition at all (and thereby deviate from the “paradigmatic” rational suicidal person) gave me evidence that I didn’t want to kill myself and helped me come to terms with recovering. Sorry if this is rambling.
Not at all. A concise and relevant comment.
And when you pay them to do it they become a ‘valuable commodity’.
Been there… and have indeed talked about these problems with a friend who once said she was contemplating suicide. But i wouldn’ t recommend this to all. I mean for most people the listening and trying to help them in their interest area can help better.