May I suggest that you make sure all of your money is in accounts that don’t also have their names? You’d be disappointed by how many ~college age people get screwed by this.
If you have time before you do it, you can practice. I’ve done this for meetings and presentations that I anticipate will be difficult. I start by imagining what someone else would do (“how would my competent friends handle themselves in a meeting like this?”) and then try on different versions of myself, if it’s not immediately obvious what a braver version of myself would do. (I often have that problem.) It’s like what Brienne describes but over a longer period of time, so you can take advantage of habit formation. Then, if you have what you’ll say and how you’ll say it well rehearsed (not memorized, but rehearsed), it’s easier to go into the difficult situation sort of on autopilot. You can keep Brienne’s technique in your back pocket if the autopilot fails.
The downside of rehearsal in your head is that you might find yourself dwelling on all the horrible things that could happen. This is usually where my mind goes if I let it because it’s easy to let the models I have of other people run amok and show me all the worst possibilities that I might have to face. You have to just rehearse the part you know you own and not spend too long imagining in vivid detail what happens next, besides what is useful for preparation (like what beoShaffer suggests and similar practical plans). I hope it works out for you and you’ll let us know how it goes!
Before I brought it up, I saw some signs of possible agreement with my viewpoint from my wife. I put off pressing the issue until I can determine what these signs I saw were are all about.
Hopefully, I’m not just deluding myself to avoid the hard decision.
Depends on what specific information are you waiting for before you can decide. If it’s something that won’t happen soon or indeed ever it’s more likely to be delusion. If it’s something you can figure out in a week or just ask then it’s more likely to be legitimate. Best of luck
I like this, and I’m going to try it on a decision I’ve been putting off for years.
(said decision involves whether or not I should tell deeply religious family that I don’t believe in god(s))
May I suggest that you make sure all of your money is in accounts that don’t also have their names? You’d be disappointed by how many ~college age people get screwed by this.
Please let us know how that turns out. I’ve been terrified to tell my fiercely traditional family that I’m bisexual.
Sure. I’ll be doing it later this month.
That is if this technique gets me to actually do it!
If you have time before you do it, you can practice. I’ve done this for meetings and presentations that I anticipate will be difficult. I start by imagining what someone else would do (“how would my competent friends handle themselves in a meeting like this?”) and then try on different versions of myself, if it’s not immediately obvious what a braver version of myself would do. (I often have that problem.) It’s like what Brienne describes but over a longer period of time, so you can take advantage of habit formation. Then, if you have what you’ll say and how you’ll say it well rehearsed (not memorized, but rehearsed), it’s easier to go into the difficult situation sort of on autopilot. You can keep Brienne’s technique in your back pocket if the autopilot fails.
The downside of rehearsal in your head is that you might find yourself dwelling on all the horrible things that could happen. This is usually where my mind goes if I let it because it’s easy to let the models I have of other people run amok and show me all the worst possibilities that I might have to face. You have to just rehearse the part you know you own and not spend too long imagining in vivid detail what happens next, besides what is useful for preparation (like what beoShaffer suggests and similar practical plans). I hope it works out for you and you’ll let us know how it goes!
How did it go? Were your family okay with it? Was the technique effective?
Before I brought it up, I saw some signs of possible agreement with my viewpoint from my wife. I put off pressing the issue until I can determine what these signs I saw were are all about.
Hopefully, I’m not just deluding myself to avoid the hard decision.
Depends on what specific information are you waiting for before you can decide. If it’s something that won’t happen soon or indeed ever it’s more likely to be delusion. If it’s something you can figure out in a week or just ask then it’s more likely to be legitimate. Best of luck