I am also trying to start implementing a self-model of the type Brienne describes.
But I also have mental models of people with whom I interact everyday (instead of myself). Unfortunately, I don’t construct them consciously—they appear whenever I have issues with the real person in question. I’ll argue with them before confronting the actual person (if a confrontation is called for). When I do enter a real discussion with the real person, I’m almost always struck by how wrong my models were—to the point of being actively damaging to my psychological well-being.
I do that exact thing (inaccurate mental models of people) too!
Have you found any useful ways to counteract that?
I haven’t found any other way than forcing myself to consciously look at unconscious models of people i make from time to time if it is possible and updating the models accoringly but this methos has not been very effective.
I’ve been working on noticing that I’m arguing with them, and running a mental process to halt those threads. It helps a lot in the moment. More importantly, it may even be having a preventative effect—I think I’m experiencing these imaginary fights less often.
I am also trying to start implementing a self-model of the type Brienne describes.
But I also have mental models of people with whom I interact everyday (instead of myself). Unfortunately, I don’t construct them consciously—they appear whenever I have issues with the real person in question. I’ll argue with them before confronting the actual person (if a confrontation is called for). When I do enter a real discussion with the real person, I’m almost always struck by how wrong my models were—to the point of being actively damaging to my psychological well-being.
I do that exact thing (inaccurate mental models of people) too! Have you found any useful ways to counteract that?
I haven’t found any other way than forcing myself to consciously look at unconscious models of people i make from time to time if it is possible and updating the models accoringly but this methos has not been very effective.
I’ve been working on noticing that I’m arguing with them, and running a mental process to halt those threads. It helps a lot in the moment. More importantly, it may even be having a preventative effect—I think I’m experiencing these imaginary fights less often.