It is true that everyone is different. There are lots of ways different people deal with it. Some more effectively than others. I pushed myself hard to keep up daily life tasks for years as I fell into a depression, and it’s taken me years to get out of it and the resulting burnout. Some thoughts:
Lower your standards. Or at least, lower the expectation you have of living up to what you perceive as other people’s standards. You can wear clothes multiple times and cut down on laundry several fold. You can clean some things less often. Think about how much more difficult many of our tasks used to be, and notice that as modern technology made them easier, society decided (in part) to do them more often instead of realizing the gains from saved time. You don’t have to follow that if you don’t want to. You don’t need to Jevons Paradox yourself into being overstretched.
We also have a lot more choices in general, in many cases, where our parents and grandparents only had a few options. If you find yourself spending a lot of time on making choices about something you don’t value doing, notice that you don’t have to optimize, you can pick a good-enough default and then just not worry about it, or maybe revisit it once a year or whatever cadence to see if it’s serving you well.
Automate or outsource what you can, when you can afford it. Compare hours saved vs. time spent from getting a dishwasher (and/or letting things air dry), hiring a cleaning service once in a while, using a laundry wash-and-fold service, getting groceries delivered, automating online bill pay, and cooking/portioning/freezing larger batches of food less often.
Change how you live. What do you want your life to look like, and how can you move in that direction? My wife and I love to travel, but hated how taking trips meant coming back to even more stuff piled up. We had remote jobs anyway, so we sold our house, moved into an RV, and travel full time. It’s a tradeoff, obviously not for everyone. There’s new tasks and stressors, but with only 250 sq ft of space there’s a lot less physical and mental stuff to keep track of. I don’t have a yard to maintain. I do laundry once every 1-2 weeks at a laundromat, all the loads in parallel for much less total time, and I bring my laptop + hotspot or run errands while everything is going. I drive a lot less, because I’m in new places every few weeks and just explore what’s right nearby. And there’s a huge difference between taking a week-long trip somewhere, vs. being able to pick a random afternoon once or twice a week and just be in a new place. For other people this might mean downsizing, moving somewhere rural or more urban, or changing careers. These can be stressful in themselves, and certainly aren’t quick, but it can sometimes be helpful just to remember that the options exist
IDK what you do for work, but be aware that even within a field, companies and departments and bosses vary wildly in all sorts of ways, and finding an environment that’s healthy for you is incredibly valuable (and has little or nothing to do with what society considers prestigious or high status). I switched companies last year, extremely similar job, at another company based in the same city, and in the process got a 50+% raise, 20%+ reduction in hours worked each week, more freedom and autonomy, more supportive upper management, clearer company mission, and happier coworkers. I could plausibly be making twice as much again at a higher status, larger company, but it would not be a good environment for me. (EDIT: NVM, seems like you’re a student, but I’ll leave this here in case it’s useful for anyone else).
Surround yourself with people you can talk to about what’s bothering you. Not to get advice, not to get help, not to fix the problem, but just people who will listen. Could be a friend, a significant other, a family member, a therapist, a support group. All are valid options.
Can you make any of the mundane tasks a shared or social endeavor? Do laundry and food shopping and cleaning with a friend or significant other, for example. Or if you live with anyone, you can divide up tasks according to who minds them the least. When my wife and I start to feel overwhelmed by a long todo lists, we sometimes play a game of “tasks from a hat.” Write up all the tasks on post-its, plus a few fun things, fold them up, and pick at random, then repeat. Mary Poppins was right.
It is true that everyone is different. There are lots of ways different people deal with it. Some more effectively than others. I pushed myself hard to keep up daily life tasks for years as I fell into a depression, and it’s taken me years to get out of it and the resulting burnout. Some thoughts:
Lower your standards. Or at least, lower the expectation you have of living up to what you perceive as other people’s standards. You can wear clothes multiple times and cut down on laundry several fold. You can clean some things less often. Think about how much more difficult many of our tasks used to be, and notice that as modern technology made them easier, society decided (in part) to do them more often instead of realizing the gains from saved time. You don’t have to follow that if you don’t want to. You don’t need to Jevons Paradox yourself into being overstretched.
We also have a lot more choices in general, in many cases, where our parents and grandparents only had a few options. If you find yourself spending a lot of time on making choices about something you don’t value doing, notice that you don’t have to optimize, you can pick a good-enough default and then just not worry about it, or maybe revisit it once a year or whatever cadence to see if it’s serving you well.
Automate or outsource what you can, when you can afford it. Compare hours saved vs. time spent from getting a dishwasher (and/or letting things air dry), hiring a cleaning service once in a while, using a laundry wash-and-fold service, getting groceries delivered, automating online bill pay, and cooking/portioning/freezing larger batches of food less often.
Change how you live. What do you want your life to look like, and how can you move in that direction? My wife and I love to travel, but hated how taking trips meant coming back to even more stuff piled up. We had remote jobs anyway, so we sold our house, moved into an RV, and travel full time. It’s a tradeoff, obviously not for everyone. There’s new tasks and stressors, but with only 250 sq ft of space there’s a lot less physical and mental stuff to keep track of. I don’t have a yard to maintain. I do laundry once every 1-2 weeks at a laundromat, all the loads in parallel for much less total time, and I bring my laptop + hotspot or run errands while everything is going. I drive a lot less, because I’m in new places every few weeks and just explore what’s right nearby. And there’s a huge difference between taking a week-long trip somewhere, vs. being able to pick a random afternoon once or twice a week and just be in a new place. For other people this might mean downsizing, moving somewhere rural or more urban, or changing careers. These can be stressful in themselves, and certainly aren’t quick, but it can sometimes be helpful just to remember that the options exist
IDK what you do for work, but be aware that even within a field, companies and departments and bosses vary wildly in all sorts of ways, and finding an environment that’s healthy for you is incredibly valuable (and has little or nothing to do with what society considers prestigious or high status). I switched companies last year, extremely similar job, at another company based in the same city, and in the process got a 50+% raise, 20%+ reduction in hours worked each week, more freedom and autonomy, more supportive upper management, clearer company mission, and happier coworkers. I could plausibly be making twice as much again at a higher status, larger company, but it would not be a good environment for me. (EDIT: NVM, seems like you’re a student, but I’ll leave this here in case it’s useful for anyone else).
Surround yourself with people you can talk to about what’s bothering you. Not to get advice, not to get help, not to fix the problem, but just people who will listen. Could be a friend, a significant other, a family member, a therapist, a support group. All are valid options.
Can you make any of the mundane tasks a shared or social endeavor? Do laundry and food shopping and cleaning with a friend or significant other, for example. Or if you live with anyone, you can divide up tasks according to who minds them the least. When my wife and I start to feel overwhelmed by a long todo lists, we sometimes play a game of “tasks from a hat.” Write up all the tasks on post-its, plus a few fun things, fold them up, and pick at random, then repeat. Mary Poppins was right.