I personally strive to know as much as I can about myself, even if it ultimately means that I believe a lot of less than flattering things.
Then I try to either use this knowledge to fix the problems, or figure out workarounds in presenting myself to others.
Some people are pretty okay with you knowing bad things about yourself if you wish that they aren’t true. A lot of my closer friends are like that, so I can continue being totally honest with them. If someone isn’t okay with that, then I either preempt all complaints by saying I messed up (many people find that less offensive than evasiveness), or avoid the conversations entirely.
In extreme cases, I’d rather know something about myself and hide it (either by omission and lying) or just let other people judge me for knowing it.
One convenient thing about allowing yourself to learn inconvenient truths is that its easier to realize when you’re wrong, and should apologize. Apologies tend to work really well when you mean them, and understand why the other person is mad at you.
I personally strive to know as much as I can about myself, even if it ultimately means that I believe a lot of less than flattering things.
Then I try to either use this knowledge to fix the problems, or figure out workarounds in presenting myself to others.
Some people are pretty okay with you knowing bad things about yourself if you wish that they aren’t true. A lot of my closer friends are like that, so I can continue being totally honest with them. If someone isn’t okay with that, then I either preempt all complaints by saying I messed up (many people find that less offensive than evasiveness), or avoid the conversations entirely.
In extreme cases, I’d rather know something about myself and hide it (either by omission and lying) or just let other people judge me for knowing it.
One convenient thing about allowing yourself to learn inconvenient truths is that its easier to realize when you’re wrong, and should apologize. Apologies tend to work really well when you mean them, and understand why the other person is mad at you.