So it’s more about the form of the conversations, and less about the content?
A problem I have with in-person group conversations is that I’d occasionally find that whoever is speaking is rambling or just not being as interesting as I hope, and wish there was some way to politely signal the person to make their point quickly and give someone else a turn. And then when I get a chance to speak, I’d fear that I’m not being as interesting as I had expected to be when I decided to speak up, and other people are thinking that I should stop talking.
I’m curious if other people have had this problem and how they dealt with it.
An experiment I tried once, when I was helping mediate a 60-person round-robin discussion group (1), was to give everyone in the room four colored index cards: red, blue, green, and white, and assign them meanings by convention: red = “I disagree with what the speaker is saying” green = “I agree with what the speaker is saying” blue = “I have a question about what the speaker is saying” white = “I do not care about what the speaker is saying”
My theory was that by establishing a communication channel that supported multiple simultaneous inputs, I could get the flow control to be a lot more efficient.
The experiment mostly failed, in that people didn’t use the cards, so I can’t really speak to results. It still seems plausible to me, and I haven’t seen it done elsewhere.
My theory was that by establishing a communication channel that supported multiple simultaneous inputs, I could get the flow control to be a lot more efficient.
I think people already do something like this, using facial expressions and body language. Using your cards probably felt redundant, condescending (implying the speaker can’t read the standard signals), weird, or too explicit (e.g., when you want to signal disagreement/disinterest but also want plausible deniability).
So I guess I was hoping for some tips on how to read/send the usual signals, and what to do when someone rambles on despite sending the usual signals. Another idea I just thought of is to have a smartphone app that allows one to send a covert anonymous signal to the speaker (but it would probably take too much work to get everyone to set it up and use it).
I think people already do something like this, using facial expressions and body language.
Certainly. Those mechanisms weren’t working terribly reliably in a conversation that involved 60 people, which is precisely why I’d been looking for ways to augment the normal mechanisms.
So it’s more about the form of the conversations, and less about the content?
Basically. But I think the form of the conversations leads to much better content, and more depth of exploration, and clearer / faster communication.
wish there was some way to politely signal the person to make their point quickly and give someone else a turn.
I honestly find that this is difficult. I think it’s easier to learn how to politely interrupt, or just be careful about the groups one hangs out in, or speak in smaller groups.
And then when I get a chance to speak, I’d fear that I’m not being as interesting as I had expected to be when I decided to speak up, and other people are thinking that I should stop talking.
That is interesting. I try to keep my points short, when possible. I think short points also facilitates better communication; shorter back-and-forth periods enable people to ask for the specific information they need, and closes inferential gaps.
So it’s more about the form of the conversations, and less about the content?
A problem I have with in-person group conversations is that I’d occasionally find that whoever is speaking is rambling or just not being as interesting as I hope, and wish there was some way to politely signal the person to make their point quickly and give someone else a turn. And then when I get a chance to speak, I’d fear that I’m not being as interesting as I had expected to be when I decided to speak up, and other people are thinking that I should stop talking.
I’m curious if other people have had this problem and how they dealt with it.
An experiment I tried once, when I was helping mediate a 60-person round-robin discussion group (1), was to give everyone in the room four colored index cards: red, blue, green, and white, and assign them meanings by convention:
red = “I disagree with what the speaker is saying”
green = “I agree with what the speaker is saying”
blue = “I have a question about what the speaker is saying”
white = “I do not care about what the speaker is saying”
My theory was that by establishing a communication channel that supported multiple simultaneous inputs, I could get the flow control to be a lot more efficient.
The experiment mostly failed, in that people didn’t use the cards, so I can’t really speak to results. It still seems plausible to me, and I haven’t seen it done elsewhere.
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1 - Don’t try this at home.
I think people already do something like this, using facial expressions and body language. Using your cards probably felt redundant, condescending (implying the speaker can’t read the standard signals), weird, or too explicit (e.g., when you want to signal disagreement/disinterest but also want plausible deniability).
So I guess I was hoping for some tips on how to read/send the usual signals, and what to do when someone rambles on despite sending the usual signals. Another idea I just thought of is to have a smartphone app that allows one to send a covert anonymous signal to the speaker (but it would probably take too much work to get everyone to set it up and use it).
Certainly. Those mechanisms weren’t working terribly reliably in a conversation that involved 60 people, which is precisely why I’d been looking for ways to augment the normal mechanisms.
Basically. But I think the form of the conversations leads to much better content, and more depth of exploration, and clearer / faster communication.
I honestly find that this is difficult. I think it’s easier to learn how to politely interrupt, or just be careful about the groups one hangs out in, or speak in smaller groups.
That is interesting. I try to keep my points short, when possible. I think short points also facilitates better communication; shorter back-and-forth periods enable people to ask for the specific information they need, and closes inferential gaps.