Among other things, I’m interested to understand how age factors into the equation (I’m middle-aged).
It is unfortunately the case that male-to-female attraction usually drops strongly with age. This factor is perhaps even more strong than body weight. And unlike weight, it can’t really be influenced by you.
But I think there is an important thing you can do: Signalling much more strongly when you are interested in someone. “Do you want to grab a coffee later?” Trying to be active, not passive, even if this goes against the normal female instinct. Of course this is easier said than done. But just “dropping hints” is unfortunately no longer sufficient at a certain age. This is especially true for the … “nerd cluster” you are interested in: Since those men are often on the autism spectrum to some degree, they may rarely notice those hints. But they may well be interested in you once they fully realize you are interested in them. Older age just prevents them from automatically (subconsciously) noticing you as a potential mate. Moreover, them being often socially awkward will prevent them from being sufficiently active (due to shyness), so they may well be very glad to be “asked out” by you, even if this is a reversal of the normal male/female roles.
(I just realize I could also have written “we” instead of “they”.)
To be very blunt about this:
It is unfortunately the case that male-to-female attraction usually drops strongly with age. This factor is perhaps even more strong than body weight. And unlike weight, it can’t really be influenced by you.
But I think there is an important thing you can do: Signalling much more strongly when you are interested in someone. “Do you want to grab a coffee later?” Trying to be active, not passive, even if this goes against the normal female instinct. Of course this is easier said than done. But just “dropping hints” is unfortunately no longer sufficient at a certain age. This is especially true for the … “nerd cluster” you are interested in: Since those men are often on the autism spectrum to some degree, they may rarely notice those hints. But they may well be interested in you once they fully realize you are interested in them. Older age just prevents them from automatically (subconsciously) noticing you as a potential mate. Moreover, them being often socially awkward will prevent them from being sufficiently active (due to shyness), so they may well be very glad to be “asked out” by you, even if this is a reversal of the normal male/female roles.
(I just realize I could also have written “we” instead of “they”.)