I know. I still feel psychologically wrecked/burned by it all and afraid to be proud of expressing myself (my strengths and weaknesses), and still overly judged by other people’s notion of what it means to make proper progress. It defines and tracks *everyone*, it limits our social circles (and confines us to permanent bubbles), and it makes us feel guilty over doing anything that’s different. I frequently feel like I’m on the defensive. I wish I could have a childhood I was fully proud of—that I want to show off to the rest of the world (and create value for others), but it has all been destroyed by my desire to please others. I also wish I could have an Internet history I was fully proud of.. rather than one I’m defensive about..
And because of the system, I still feel constantly on the defensive for justifying my current life path.
People should be proud of what they learn—they should want to show it off to the rest of the world, rather than throw all their assignments away. They should also be proud of how they’re unique/different from others (including their weaknesses that *others* can fill them up in), especially if they process the world in a weird/neurodivergent way (and can’t necessarily learn the same way that others do) or if they work best in a “support role” who make smart people feel comfortable. They should be unashamed of showing how they might be wrong (and how their thinking can be fixed in the future). They overrate independence and ability to be seen as “better than others”.
And they should take advantage of their comparative strengths when their neuroplasticity/fluid intelligence is at its *highest*, and receive feedback from older people who actually have experience interacting with the rest of the world (rather than in their own bubbles)
BTW—I took a unique extreme in going for maximizing my own knowledge rather than optimizing for the meta-game of figuring out what knowledge I should learn and what knowledge is best left in the heads of others (and I seem to have better memory for knowledge in the heads of others than most people do).
“If not for school I wouldn’t have anxiety”, is an appealing theory, but I wouldn’t put much faith in it. I propose that your anxieties are not due to school, but due to people in general.
I know. I still feel psychologically wrecked/burned by it all and afraid to be proud of expressing myself (my strengths and weaknesses), and still overly judged by other people’s notion of what it means to make proper progress. It defines and tracks *everyone*, it limits our social circles (and confines us to permanent bubbles), and it makes us feel guilty over doing anything that’s different. I frequently feel like I’m on the defensive. I wish I could have a childhood I was fully proud of—that I want to show off to the rest of the world (and create value for others), but it has all been destroyed by my desire to please others. I also wish I could have an Internet history I was fully proud of.. rather than one I’m defensive about..
And because of the system, I still feel constantly on the defensive for justifying my current life path.
People should be proud of what they learn—they should want to show it off to the rest of the world, rather than throw all their assignments away. They should also be proud of how they’re unique/different from others (including their weaknesses that *others* can fill them up in), especially if they process the world in a weird/neurodivergent way (and can’t necessarily learn the same way that others do) or if they work best in a “support role” who make smart people feel comfortable. They should be unashamed of showing how they might be wrong (and how their thinking can be fixed in the future). They overrate independence and ability to be seen as “better than others”.
And they should take advantage of their comparative strengths when their neuroplasticity/fluid intelligence is at its *highest*, and receive feedback from older people who actually have experience interacting with the rest of the world (rather than in their own bubbles)
BTW—I took a unique extreme in going for maximizing my own knowledge rather than optimizing for the meta-game of figuring out what knowledge I should learn and what knowledge is best left in the heads of others (and I seem to have better memory for knowledge in the heads of others than most people do).
“If not for school I wouldn’t have anxiety”, is an appealing theory, but I wouldn’t put much faith in it. I propose that your anxieties are not due to school, but due to people in general.