Thanks for this. Some aspects of your story were very similar to my own life in a way that made the message stand out more. Specifically the desire to impress people instead of asking for attention. In general, asking for things triggers an aversion for me that if I rely on others to get something, I must not be good enough to do it myself, and I didn’t really earn it. This causes me to do everything myself when I don’t need to. It also causes me to never ask for things if I might not need them, might not get them, or might not deserve them.
The idea that some “freeloader starter pack” from 2011 embedded this idea in my brain, or even the attitudes of a couple mentors, doesn’t seem right, though. A more resonant explanation to me is a self-narrative that, broadly, “I am good at things.” (This seems vaguely like your own narrative that you would make your dreams happen?) This explains why I hang on the opinion of others particularly about skills where I’m uncertain of my own ability. For example, if someone told me I’m no good at math, I would disbelieve them; no good at juggling, and I would agree; but if they told me I’m no good at acting, it would shake me a lot more.
Yeah, the particular self-narrative one has probably does a lot of the shaping of everything else. The messages from others that I attend to would be a bit different from you.
Thanks for this. Some aspects of your story were very similar to my own life in a way that made the message stand out more. Specifically the desire to impress people instead of asking for attention. In general, asking for things triggers an aversion for me that if I rely on others to get something, I must not be good enough to do it myself, and I didn’t really earn it. This causes me to do everything myself when I don’t need to. It also causes me to never ask for things if I might not need them, might not get them, or might not deserve them.
The idea that some “freeloader starter pack” from 2011 embedded this idea in my brain, or even the attitudes of a couple mentors, doesn’t seem right, though. A more resonant explanation to me is a self-narrative that, broadly, “I am good at things.” (This seems vaguely like your own narrative that you would make your dreams happen?) This explains why I hang on the opinion of others particularly about skills where I’m uncertain of my own ability. For example, if someone told me I’m no good at math, I would disbelieve them; no good at juggling, and I would agree; but if they told me I’m no good at acting, it would shake me a lot more.
Glad a part related!
Yeah, the particular self-narrative one has probably does a lot of the shaping of everything else. The messages from others that I attend to would be a bit different from you.