Note that what you have created for all this effort (obsessive record hunting, studying twentieth century music, etc) is a subjective experience. This exists only inside your own head. Perhaps you can communicate it back out again—justify the effort by perpetuating the meme—perhaps you can only tell others that it’s possible.
As I noted, at times it feels like being really fussy over the variety of heroin you’re going to ruin your life with.
How does it affect your enjoyment of the music?
Sometimes it feels worth it!
Note that what you have created for all this effort (obsessive record hunting, studying twentieth century music, etc) is a subjective experience. This exists only inside your own head. Perhaps you can communicate it back out again—justify the effort by perpetuating the meme—perhaps you can only tell others that it’s possible.
As I noted, at times it feels like being really fussy over the variety of heroin you’re going to ruin your life with.