What about the shame that comes with missing an opportunity?
Who has been hurt: yourself, because you can’t benefit from that opportunity anymore, and possibly others who also would have benefited.
What must be made right: this is where I get stuck. No future opportunity can replace the one you missed; that cost will never come back. You can you possibly repay it?
Perhaps the thing to make right is to make yourself better able to take advantage of that kind of thing in the future when something similar comes up down the line?
You can always only ever change the future, so mostly I find “what must be made right” is my future behavior around some situation that I’ve not been acting my best in. I find that really freeing, myself, since it explicitly maps to how there is no sense in beating yourself up about the past as long as you’ve adjusted your behavior to be better for the future. If you’ve acted sufficiently on your shame in that kind of way, that’s enough to let yourself release your shame because you’ve done all you can do to make it right.
For social situations where someone specific was wronged, stuff like apologies can help repair past damage, but I think that mostly just applies to social things. Maybe with yourself if you find that helpful to apologize to yourself about things (some might, some won’t).
What about the shame that comes with missing an opportunity?
Who has been hurt: yourself, because you can’t benefit from that opportunity anymore, and possibly others who also would have benefited.
What must be made right: this is where I get stuck. No future opportunity can replace the one you missed; that cost will never come back. You can you possibly repay it?
Perhaps the thing to make right is to make yourself better able to take advantage of that kind of thing in the future when something similar comes up down the line?
You can always only ever change the future, so mostly I find “what must be made right” is my future behavior around some situation that I’ve not been acting my best in. I find that really freeing, myself, since it explicitly maps to how there is no sense in beating yourself up about the past as long as you’ve adjusted your behavior to be better for the future. If you’ve acted sufficiently on your shame in that kind of way, that’s enough to let yourself release your shame because you’ve done all you can do to make it right.
For social situations where someone specific was wronged, stuff like apologies can help repair past damage, but I think that mostly just applies to social things. Maybe with yourself if you find that helpful to apologize to yourself about things (some might, some won’t).