Note: I’ve noticed that calling people stupid is frowned upon here. In this situation, I’m trying to communicate that I spent a lot of time being frustrated with people, and that it may have motivated me to think more deeply about things than I otherwise would have, so the word seems appropriate.
And for what it’s worth, I’m altruistic, I want people to be happy, but I’m a big believer in accountability, and when people act stupidly, I think it’s appropriate to call them out on it. Myself included!! If I act in a way that isn’t just misguided, but is genuinely stupid, I want to be told so. Because I think the embarrassment is useful negative feedback, and because I want to use the information to better avoid similar mistakes in the future. I’m strong enough for this to easily outweigh the downside of unpleasantness, and I find it hard to imagine someone who’s sensitive enough for this to not be true.
Granted, the context and the effect of the language need to be taken into account. I don’t think that using the word stupid is risking causing any real damage to people; I think the main problem is that it leads to defensiveness and death spirals. With a lot of audiences, I wouldn’t use the word because I expect that it’d cause a death spiral and prevent people from thinking straight. But I don’t anticipate anyone here falling into a death spiral because of it; I anticipate people seeing the word for what it is, and moving on. I’m not too confident in this approach though, so if you disagree with it, please explain your reasoning to me. My biggest worry is that by using a different word, it’d remove valuable/relevant information from the statement. So it seems to me that with an audience who would resist death spirals, the benefit of added information makes it worth using.
Note: I’ve noticed that calling people stupid is frowned upon here. In this situation, I’m trying to communicate that I spent a lot of time being frustrated with people, and that it may have motivated me to think more deeply about things than I otherwise would have, so the word seems appropriate.
And for what it’s worth, I’m altruistic, I want people to be happy, but I’m a big believer in accountability, and when people act stupidly, I think it’s appropriate to call them out on it. Myself included!! If I act in a way that isn’t just misguided, but is genuinely stupid, I want to be told so. Because I think the embarrassment is useful negative feedback, and because I want to use the information to better avoid similar mistakes in the future. I’m strong enough for this to easily outweigh the downside of unpleasantness, and I find it hard to imagine someone who’s sensitive enough for this to not be true.
Granted, the context and the effect of the language need to be taken into account. I don’t think that using the word stupid is risking causing any real damage to people; I think the main problem is that it leads to defensiveness and death spirals. With a lot of audiences, I wouldn’t use the word because I expect that it’d cause a death spiral and prevent people from thinking straight. But I don’t anticipate anyone here falling into a death spiral because of it; I anticipate people seeing the word for what it is, and moving on. I’m not too confident in this approach though, so if you disagree with it, please explain your reasoning to me. My biggest worry is that by using a different word, it’d remove valuable/relevant information from the statement. So it seems to me that with an audience who would resist death spirals, the benefit of added information makes it worth using.