My life has gotten a lot more insane over the last two years. However, it’s also gotten a lot more wonderful, and I want to take time to share how thankful I am for that.
Before, life felt like… a thing that you experience, where you score points and accolades and check boxes. It felt kinda fake, but parts of it were nice. I had this nice cozy little box that I lived in, a mental cage circumscribing my entire life. Today, I feel (much more) free.
I love how curious I’ve become, even about “unsophisticated” things. Near dusk, I walked the winter wonderland of Ogden, Utah with my aunt and uncle. I spotted this gorgeous red ornament hanging from a tree, with a hunk of snow stuck to it at north-east orientation. This snow had apparently decided to defy gravity. I just stopped and stared. I was so confused. I’d kinda guessed that the dry snow must induce a huge coefficient of static friction, hence the winter wonderland. But that didn’t suffice to explain this. I bounded over and saw the smooth surface was iced, so maybe part of the snow melted in the midday sun, froze as evening advanced, and then the part-ice part-snow chunk stuck much more solidly to the ornament.
Maybe that’s right, and maybe not. The point is that two years ago, I’d have thought this was just “how the world worked”, and it was up to physicists to understand the details. Whatever, right? But now, I’m this starry-eyed kid in a secret shop full of wonderful secrets. Some secrets are already understood by some people, but not by me. A few secrets I am the first to understand. Some secrets remain unknown to all. All of the secrets are enticing.
My life isn’t always like this; some days are a bit gray and draining. But many days aren’t, and I’m so happy about that.
Socially, I feel more fascinated by people in general, more eager to hear what’s going on in their lives, more curious what it feels like to be them that day. In particular, I’ve fallen in love with the rationalist and effective altruist communities, which was totally a thing I didn’t even know I desperately wanted until I already had it in my life! There are so many kind, smart, and caring people, inside many of whom burns a similarly intense drive to make the future nice, no matter what. Even though I’m estranged from the physical community much of the year, I feel less alone: there’s a home for me somewhere.
Professionally, I’m working on AI alignment, which I think is crucial for making the future nice. Two years ago, I felt pretty sidelined—I hadn’t met the bars I thought I needed to meet in order to do Important Things, so I just planned for a nice, quiet, responsible, normal life, doing little kindnesses. Surely the writers of the universe’s script would make sure things turned out OK, right?
I feel in the game now. The game can be daunting, but it’s also thrilling. It can be scary, but it’s important. It’s something we need to play, and win. I feel that viscerally. I’m fighting for something important, with every intention of winning.
I really wish I had the time to hear from each and every one of you. But I can’t, so I do what I can: I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. :)
From my Facebook
My life has gotten a lot more insane over the last two years. However, it’s also gotten a lot more wonderful, and I want to take time to share how thankful I am for that.
Before, life felt like… a thing that you experience, where you score points and accolades and check boxes. It felt kinda fake, but parts of it were nice. I had this nice cozy little box that I lived in, a mental cage circumscribing my entire life. Today, I feel (much more) free.
I love how curious I’ve become, even about “unsophisticated” things. Near dusk, I walked the winter wonderland of Ogden, Utah with my aunt and uncle. I spotted this gorgeous red ornament hanging from a tree, with a hunk of snow stuck to it at north-east orientation. This snow had apparently decided to defy gravity. I just stopped and stared. I was so confused. I’d kinda guessed that the dry snow must induce a huge coefficient of static friction, hence the winter wonderland. But that didn’t suffice to explain this. I bounded over and saw the smooth surface was iced, so maybe part of the snow melted in the midday sun, froze as evening advanced, and then the part-ice part-snow chunk stuck much more solidly to the ornament.
Maybe that’s right, and maybe not. The point is that two years ago, I’d have thought this was just “how the world worked”, and it was up to physicists to understand the details. Whatever, right? But now, I’m this starry-eyed kid in a secret shop full of wonderful secrets. Some secrets are already understood by some people, but not by me. A few secrets I am the first to understand. Some secrets remain unknown to all. All of the secrets are enticing.
My life isn’t always like this; some days are a bit gray and draining. But many days aren’t, and I’m so happy about that.
Socially, I feel more fascinated by people in general, more eager to hear what’s going on in their lives, more curious what it feels like to be them that day. In particular, I’ve fallen in love with the rationalist and effective altruist communities, which was totally a thing I didn’t even know I desperately wanted until I already had it in my life! There are so many kind, smart, and caring people, inside many of whom burns a similarly intense drive to make the future nice, no matter what. Even though I’m estranged from the physical community much of the year, I feel less alone: there’s a home for me somewhere.
Professionally, I’m working on AI alignment, which I think is crucial for making the future nice. Two years ago, I felt pretty sidelined—I hadn’t met the bars I thought I needed to meet in order to do Important Things, so I just planned for a nice, quiet, responsible, normal life, doing little kindnesses. Surely the writers of the universe’s script would make sure things turned out OK, right?
I feel in the game now. The game can be daunting, but it’s also thrilling. It can be scary, but it’s important. It’s something we need to play, and win. I feel that viscerally. I’m fighting for something important, with every intention of winning.
I really wish I had the time to hear from each and every one of you. But I can’t, so I do what I can: I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. :)