Doing things is a solitary activity. When you are doing things with others, other than direct socializing, the only time when you aren’t just doing things by yourself but merely in the vicinity of others is when you are learning or there is a feedback loop of mentorship.
What I think you are actually seeking is for others to motivate you. The only person who can motivate you is yourself. When you feel like others are motivating you, what’s actually happening is others are motivating you to motivate yourself. If you can’t motivate yourself, you might end up dependent on others. You need to gain independence and abstain from external mental influences. Solitude is great for this.
I was more thinking along the lines of “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” or something. I’m against external motivation too.
I think the nuanced answer is you need to know how easily influenced you are by others. It’s one thing to be inspired by others’ positive traits, which I have luckily experienced in college. It’s another thing when influences temporarily blinds you from knowing yourself as you get lost in the moment. I’ve hung out with friends that I now have cut out of my life because after several years of living a different lifestyle than I used to back in college, I realized it’s not something I want in my own life despite it working out for others in my social group.
I think solitude is the best environment to develop and get to know yourself first before you venture out into the world and get pulled in every direction that you encounter without knowing how those directions are aligned with your inner core. It’s not really separate chunks of period where it’s complete solitude and then all social after that. You switch between the two whenever you feel like you need to take a break from one. Step back and re-access your situation once in a while.
Doing things is a solitary activity. When you are doing things with others, other than direct socializing, the only time when you aren’t just doing things by yourself but merely in the vicinity of others is when you are learning or there is a feedback loop of mentorship.
What I think you are actually seeking is for others to motivate you. The only person who can motivate you is yourself. When you feel like others are motivating you, what’s actually happening is others are motivating you to motivate yourself. If you can’t motivate yourself, you might end up dependent on others. You need to gain independence and abstain from external mental influences. Solitude is great for this.
I was more thinking along the lines of “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” or something. I’m against external motivation too.
I think the nuanced answer is you need to know how easily influenced you are by others. It’s one thing to be inspired by others’ positive traits, which I have luckily experienced in college. It’s another thing when influences temporarily blinds you from knowing yourself as you get lost in the moment. I’ve hung out with friends that I now have cut out of my life because after several years of living a different lifestyle than I used to back in college, I realized it’s not something I want in my own life despite it working out for others in my social group.
I think solitude is the best environment to develop and get to know yourself first before you venture out into the world and get pulled in every direction that you encounter without knowing how those directions are aligned with your inner core. It’s not really separate chunks of period where it’s complete solitude and then all social after that. You switch between the two whenever you feel like you need to take a break from one. Step back and re-access your situation once in a while.