But the more I try to hammer my moral, ethical and intellectual positions into some sort of minimal framework that is internally coherent, the more distance I feel toward everyone that I come into contact with. I feel like a stranger in my own culture.
“everyone” is a pretty strong word! What are your “moral, ethical and intellectual positions” and how are they different from everyone’s you meet?
First, it sounds like your childhood was rather challenging. If you haven’t yet, take the ACE quiz https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean, and if you score high, consider finding a good trauma therapist.
Second, you say
“everyone” is a pretty strong word! What are your “moral, ethical and intellectual positions” and how are they different from everyone’s you meet?