I feel like “pander” implies doing something you specifically wouldn’t do of your own accord with the sole aim of getting people to like you. In contrast, being dismissive, acknowledging that someone probably felt bad as a result of something you did and then not doing anything about it—that’s not even insensitive.
“Ow, you stepped on my foot.”
“I acknowledge that your foot probably hurts, but I find that tiresome and inconvenient.”
You’re definitely not expected to get along with everyone, and if you could accurately predict exactly who you’re going to hurt before you have a conversation with them, you could just avoid them ahead of time and everything would be fine. Since we don’t know how to do that, you’re probably going to hurt some people accidentally. What you said sounds like you have no problem hurting people accidentally and don’t care if they feel bad because of it.
I feel like “pander” implies doing something you specifically wouldn’t do of your own accord with the sole aim of getting people to like you. In contrast, being dismissive, acknowledging that someone probably felt bad as a result of something you did and then not doing anything about it—that’s not even insensitive.
“Ow, you stepped on my foot.”
“I acknowledge that your foot probably hurts, but I find that tiresome and inconvenient.”
You’re definitely not expected to get along with everyone, and if you could accurately predict exactly who you’re going to hurt before you have a conversation with them, you could just avoid them ahead of time and everything would be fine. Since we don’t know how to do that, you’re probably going to hurt some people accidentally. What you said sounds like you have no problem hurting people accidentally and don’t care if they feel bad because of it.