If you’re extroverted by nature, you probably have no experience in making yourself extroverted, and so are unqualified to give advice. You can teach by example, though.
I notice this pattern a lot. Naturally talented singers can’t teach you how to sing because they don’t know it. If you don’t perceive the obstacles that your students claim to face, you have no business teaching, no matter how good you are at the activity itself. A lot of harmful advice to introverts (like the dreaded “just be yourself”) comes from people such as you. I say that as a former introvert who successfully changed :-)
Yeah, I didn’t realize I was entering into a discussion on how to acquire extroversion! I admit, I’m unqualified there. But I definitely do have experience, and advice to give, on how to steer conversation toward interesting topics for both individuals interested in having a conversation, which is what I thought we were talking about in the first place. :)
What cousin_it said, times a thousand. Harsh, but true.
Ability to do something does not imply ability to teach it. It just means you’ve reached Level 1. Until you can imagine what it was like to be without your skill, and the mental steps you went through going out of that state, you will be forever giving advice that assumes away the problem.
It helps if student and teacher are both clear on what the subject being taught actually is in the first place, and which level everybody is starting at. The fact remains that just because you’re not good at making small talk doesn’t mean that the opportunity isn’t there, everywhere. Either way, in order to get better, you will have to practice, regardless of how difficult it is to get to the point of even being able to practice. Kaj Sotala’s post wasn’t about how to talk to random strangers, but how to get to interesting conversations with someone you’re already talking to. It’s a bit unfair to accuse people who are here to help with that issue of not being helpful on a related, but different one.
Kaj Sotala’s post wasn’t about how to talk to random strangers, but how to get to interesting conversations to some you’re already talking to. It’s a bit unfair to accuse people who are here to help with that issue of not being helpful on a related, but different one.
Perhaps, but your advice required the ability to successfully start conversations, since you were suggesting to talk to random people:
Who doesn’t have easy opportunities to increase their number of conversations, other than a total shut-in? People are everywhere, and therefore, so are potential conversations. You might not have the most interesting conversation with the guy standing behind you in line at the bank,
It’s true that practice is necessary, but not just any practice will suffice. And following the practice recommendations you gave would not be helpful unless the problem were mostly solved to begin with.
Perhaps, but your advice required the ability to successfully start conversations, since you were suggesting to talk to random people
Well, the entire topic of the original post was contingent upon already being in a situation of engaging in small talk with someone. The LW meet-up, for example. If you are already able to start conversation with someone, but wanting to skill up in steering the conversation into interesting avenues, Kaj Sotala’s post should be very helpful. Being able to make small talk does not at all imply skill in having interesting conversation.
If you’re extroverted by nature, you probably have no experience in making yourself extroverted, and so are unqualified to give advice. You can teach by example, though.
I notice this pattern a lot. Naturally talented singers can’t teach you how to sing because they don’t know it. If you don’t perceive the obstacles that your students claim to face, you have no business teaching, no matter how good you are at the activity itself. A lot of harmful advice to introverts (like the dreaded “just be yourself”) comes from people such as you. I say that as a former introvert who successfully changed :-)
Yeah, I didn’t realize I was entering into a discussion on how to acquire extroversion! I admit, I’m unqualified there. But I definitely do have experience, and advice to give, on how to steer conversation toward interesting topics for both individuals interested in having a conversation, which is what I thought we were talking about in the first place. :)
What cousin_it said, times a thousand. Harsh, but true.
Ability to do something does not imply ability to teach it. It just means you’ve reached Level 1. Until you can imagine what it was like to be without your skill, and the mental steps you went through going out of that state, you will be forever giving advice that assumes away the problem.
It helps if student and teacher are both clear on what the subject being taught actually is in the first place, and which level everybody is starting at. The fact remains that just because you’re not good at making small talk doesn’t mean that the opportunity isn’t there, everywhere. Either way, in order to get better, you will have to practice, regardless of how difficult it is to get to the point of even being able to practice. Kaj Sotala’s post wasn’t about how to talk to random strangers, but how to get to interesting conversations with someone you’re already talking to. It’s a bit unfair to accuse people who are here to help with that issue of not being helpful on a related, but different one.
Perhaps, but your advice required the ability to successfully start conversations, since you were suggesting to talk to random people:
It’s true that practice is necessary, but not just any practice will suffice. And following the practice recommendations you gave would not be helpful unless the problem were mostly solved to begin with.
Well, the entire topic of the original post was contingent upon already being in a situation of engaging in small talk with someone. The LW meet-up, for example. If you are already able to start conversation with someone, but wanting to skill up in steering the conversation into interesting avenues, Kaj Sotala’s post should be very helpful. Being able to make small talk does not at all imply skill in having interesting conversation.