For people voluntarily donning “Ask Me Anything” stickers, I’m less nervous than I otherwise would be. The whole point of a sticker like that is that it’s safe to ask.
That is a worry, but I think the narrower worry is that an ask me anything sticker, in the light of day, is different from a late-night ask me anything sticker. When one originally puts it on, one might be prepared to say “sorry, not answering that,” but at a late-night session where the last twelve limit-pushing questions were answered and your executive function is depleted from it being late, you might answer a question you wouldn’t in the light of day.
I think that it is still a good idea on net. Doing this sort of thing with other people actually does make them less of a stranger and more of a friend.
In the same way that one can just stop drinking when they’ve had enough. That is, it may not be wise to assume it will happen by default, but it is not impossible, and the sort that consider it easy are not the ones we’re worried about.
I don’t think this is the feature of a poorly-executed gathering, I think it’s a feature of human-minds-given-some-threshold of people in a group you want to be part of deciding-to-do-a-thing, no matter what that thing is.
If you have above-average-ability-to-resist-social pressure, that doesn’t determine whether or not you should have the sticker on. Or at least, the two factors at play are:
1) do you want to encourage people to ask you questions?
2) if the group is at the threshold, and you want to be asked questions, but you also don’t want people feeling pressured to put the sticker on, then yeah, you might want to take it off, but only for the benefit of other people.
The whole thing hinges on how much you trust people when they assure you you can say potentially upsetting thing X to them. Generally, not very much. I would never trust a sticker or declaration to the extent that I wouldn’t model someone’s response, it’s just an update on that model.
It was emphasised that people didn’t have to answer any question, but the empathy should have been equally pushed.
On this occasion, askers were very hesitant to ask questions they thought would be too personal, but those being asked invariably responded without any hesitation or unease. Discovering that you could ask personal questions you were curious about with only the positive consequences of closeness and openness was a win.
But this does all include a good deal of judgment. Not an exercise for a group not high in empathy or generally unconcerned about others’ responses, nor for those who are easily pressured.
For people voluntarily donning “Ask Me Anything” stickers, I’m less nervous than I otherwise would be. The whole point of a sticker like that is that it’s safe to ask.
Bear in mind, once some threshold of people in a group don such a sticker, it becomes socially uncomfortable to not don such a sticker.
That is a worry, but I think the narrower worry is that an ask me anything sticker, in the light of day, is different from a late-night ask me anything sticker. When one originally puts it on, one might be prepared to say “sorry, not answering that,” but at a late-night session where the last twelve limit-pushing questions were answered and your executive function is depleted from it being late, you might answer a question you wouldn’t in the light of day.
I think that it is still a good idea on net. Doing this sort of thing with other people actually does make them less of a stranger and more of a friend.
Can’t you just take your sticker off?
In the same way that one can just stop drinking when they’ve had enough. That is, it may not be wise to assume it will happen by default, but it is not impossible, and the sort that consider it easy are not the ones we’re worried about.
Maybe offer “Opted out of AMA to demonstrate that it’s okay to opt out” stickers. Might be a bit large.
In a gathering like that I’d probably remove my sticker if I found it to be the case…
I don’t think this is the feature of a poorly-executed gathering, I think it’s a feature of human-minds-given-some-threshold of people in a group you want to be part of deciding-to-do-a-thing, no matter what that thing is.
If you have above-average-ability-to-resist-social pressure, that doesn’t determine whether or not you should have the sticker on. Or at least, the two factors at play are:
1) do you want to encourage people to ask you questions?
2) if the group is at the threshold, and you want to be asked questions, but you also don’t want people feeling pressured to put the sticker on, then yeah, you might want to take it off, but only for the benefit of other people.
Yeah, I meant 2).
Ah, gotcha. Fair enough.
The whole thing hinges on how much you trust people when they assure you you can say potentially upsetting thing X to them. Generally, not very much. I would never trust a sticker or declaration to the extent that I wouldn’t model someone’s response, it’s just an update on that model.
It was emphasised that people didn’t have to answer any question, but the empathy should have been equally pushed.
On this occasion, askers were very hesitant to ask questions they thought would be too personal, but those being asked invariably responded without any hesitation or unease. Discovering that you could ask personal questions you were curious about with only the positive consequences of closeness and openness was a win.
But this does all include a good deal of judgment. Not an exercise for a group not high in empathy or generally unconcerned about others’ responses, nor for those who are easily pressured.