I agree, that was counterintuitive to me as well! Empirically, though, at least for most people it seems that being sensitive to the needs of others is even more important than others being sensitive to your needs.
Furthermore, giving autonomy support to a friend predicted the givers’ experience of relationship quality over and above the effects of receiving autonomy support from the friend. When both receiving and giving autonomy support competed for variance in predicting well-being, giving, rather than receiving,autonomy support was the stronger predictor.
Why does it matter that “i am sensitive to others’ needs”? If I’m happy being selfish, that shouldn’t matter.
I agree, that was counterintuitive to me as well! Empirically, though, at least for most people it seems that being sensitive to the needs of others is even more important than others being sensitive to your needs.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16455859