It’s a well-written story, and you packed a lot of characterization into not much text. But you show some gender bias that you may or may not be aware of. For instance, in weirdtopia men move around while women stay with the house and kids, and you say that in utopia, “Men provide stable home-lives for their wives and children.” Do you believe that it’s better for men to work for a living and women to stay at home and raise children, or am I reading too much into literary license?
I’m pleased to hear that you liked my characters. I’m new to writing and characterization is something I’m focused on improving.
You’re right, and I’m willing to own a certain amount of gender-bias. While I have no problem at all with woman having equal rights, I do on some level tend to see the world tinted with a “men hunt/gather and women nest” perspective.
I hadn’t noticed that come through in the story, though, until you pointed it out. Honestly, I think length played a large part in it.
As you noted, I don’t have a great deal of room to work with, as the point of Word Cereal is that it’s short fiction—something you could consume as regularly as, say, a webcomic.
Streamlining the system to move only men made it much easier to set the stage, though that’s a decision I’d made subconsciously when I wrote it, that I’m only seeing (and justifying) now.
It’s a well-written story, and you packed a lot of characterization into not much text. But you show some gender bias that you may or may not be aware of. For instance, in weirdtopia men move around while women stay with the house and kids, and you say that in utopia, “Men provide stable home-lives for their wives and children.” Do you believe that it’s better for men to work for a living and women to stay at home and raise children, or am I reading too much into literary license?
I’m pleased to hear that you liked my characters. I’m new to writing and characterization is something I’m focused on improving.
You’re right, and I’m willing to own a certain amount of gender-bias. While I have no problem at all with woman having equal rights, I do on some level tend to see the world tinted with a “men hunt/gather and women nest” perspective.
I hadn’t noticed that come through in the story, though, until you pointed it out. Honestly, I think length played a large part in it.
As you noted, I don’t have a great deal of room to work with, as the point of Word Cereal is that it’s short fiction—something you could consume as regularly as, say, a webcomic.
Streamlining the system to move only men made it much easier to set the stage, though that’s a decision I’d made subconsciously when I wrote it, that I’m only seeing (and justifying) now.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words and insight :)