For problem 2, the answer is that you should be able to test whether you are upset directly, using introspection (perhaps combined with a mental trick or two), and if you do it right, the result of this test should be much better evidence of your mental state than your roommate’s observation would be. However, performing this test is a skill and the problem description doesn’t mention having it. So if you’ve explicitly practiced inspecting your mental state, then you should mostly ignore your roommate, but if you haven’t then you should listen to him.
(But do note that the question of what your mental state is, is entirely separate from the question of whether you’ve been doing your fair share of the chores. That question can only be answered by actually enumerating a sample of the chores, partitioning it into the set you did and the set he did, and comparing the set sizes.)
Fairness and housework may not be best handled as an enumeration problem. I know a family (two adults, one child) which started by listing the necessary housework, and then each listing which things they liked doing, which they disliked, and which they were neutral about, and came to a low-stress agreement.
Admittedly, this takes good will, honesty, and no one in the group who’s too compulsive about doing or not doing housework.
For problem 2, the answer is that you should be able to test whether you are upset directly, using introspection (perhaps combined with a mental trick or two), and if you do it right, the result of this test should be much better evidence of your mental state than your roommate’s observation would be. However, performing this test is a skill and the problem description doesn’t mention having it. So if you’ve explicitly practiced inspecting your mental state, then you should mostly ignore your roommate, but if you haven’t then you should listen to him.
(But do note that the question of what your mental state is, is entirely separate from the question of whether you’ve been doing your fair share of the chores. That question can only be answered by actually enumerating a sample of the chores, partitioning it into the set you did and the set he did, and comparing the set sizes.)
Fairness and housework may not be best handled as an enumeration problem. I know a family (two adults, one child) which started by listing the necessary housework, and then each listing which things they liked doing, which they disliked, and which they were neutral about, and came to a low-stress agreement.
Admittedly, this takes good will, honesty, and no one in the group who’s too compulsive about doing or not doing housework.
Steven Brams has devised some fair division algorithms that don’t require good will: see his surplus procedure ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surplus_procedure ) and his earlier adjusted winner procedure ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adjusted_Winner_procedure ).