For someone who struggles with being playful, I might not recommend this approach. I’really good at being playful. I am bad at displaying status. Generic problem of advice.
Maybe, maybe not. None of your comments are strong evidence it won’t work. It’s a few bits of weak evidence. Also you strawmaning my post by saying “that completely ignores your own emotions”.
1. Immediate reaction times are necessary to receive any benefits—immediate reactions can be trained, even highly sophisticated and creative ones. Improv comedy is great evidence of that.
2. These aren’t incredibly sophisticated behaviors I’m imitating. It’s just controlling your movements a bit, making a lot of eye contact, having good postures, having a good fake smile. Check out Luke Progs lecture about using body language to pick up women. Honestly looks entirely fakable, so easily fakable that you shouldn’t call it fake - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvcuZhDWLgg&feature=player_embedded
3. Two alternative explanations for your comment. One is that the paid dating coaches want to protect their market. Two is that you strawmanned my argument when you presented it to them (perhaps by saying I intend to learn painstackingly every single movement of flirting from an acting coach then reproduce them entirely system 1, which is not at all what I said).
4. Sure that is true. But you can do habitual behaviors like eyecontact and good posture and still have a playful emotional state. Basically all of sports requires you to perform habitual behaviors and have a playful emotional state.
What would you being right lead me to predict? That making more eye contact but being slightly more tense will be a bit confusing to a date. That seems plausible, but unlikely. And if that does occur, changing tactics will be super easy. What would you being wrong lead me to predict? I might permanently flirt 50% better at in-person. Cost-benefit is still super positive.
So far my reductionist conclusions have been getting way more attention than conventional wisdom, so I’ll lean on them.
I would never consciously train a fake smile for the purpose of it being visible to other people because I have no problem to trigger the emotional shift that leads to a smile if I want to which actually leads to all those muscles around the eyes actually doing what they are supposed to do with a real smile.
If you want to learn better posture, then an actor is not a person who has the skill set that’s focused on teaching you posture. They might have had an Alexander technique course in their training and try to teach you posture based on it, but you likely get much better returns if you actually go to an Alexander technique trainer.
A more generalized way would also be to take martial arts classes. They teach you how to use your body in a way where it’s more expressive.
3. Two alternative explanations for your comment. One is that the paid dating coaches want to protect their market.
Most of my perspective of those people comes from an enviroment where I spent 10 days at a retreat along with a bunch of guys who are into personal development.
Some of them do earn their money with the dating market and that involves writing “How to have good eye contact with girls” articles because those are high traffic keywords on Google even when it’s not what they consider to be most helpful.
Check out Luke Progs lecture about using body language to pick up women. Honestly looks entirely fakable, so easily fakable that you shouldn’t call it fake
It’s worth noting that while the title is all about body language it involves him saying that coming with existing friends to the pub and having fun with them is part of the behavior he recommends to have good bodylanguage. “Have a good time with everybody” Having a good time with everybody is being uninhibited. A lot of attempts to consciously slow down your body language will create inhibition.
This is also a typical structure of this kind of dating advice. It hooks people who are into optimizing bodylanguage with the title and then a short bit of information and then spends the bulk of the time recommending what’s actually believed to be useful, in this case having established relationships where you have fun with other people instead of coming in alone.
You are implying I won’t do the other practices. I agree that Luke Progs other points are higher cost-benefit and should be done first. But just because other things pass cost-benefit does not mean the body language changes also do not.
Anyway, we’ve presented our pro and con arguments. I’m gonna go test it. Will report back.
For someone who struggles with being playful, I might not recommend this approach. I’really good at being playful. I am bad at displaying status. Generic problem of advice.
Maybe, maybe not. None of your comments are strong evidence it won’t work. It’s a few bits of weak evidence. Also you strawmaning my post by saying “that completely ignores your own emotions”.
1. Immediate reaction times are necessary to receive any benefits—immediate reactions can be trained, even highly sophisticated and creative ones. Improv comedy is great evidence of that.
2. These aren’t incredibly sophisticated behaviors I’m imitating. It’s just controlling your movements a bit, making a lot of eye contact, having good postures, having a good fake smile. Check out Luke Progs lecture about using body language to pick up women. Honestly looks entirely fakable, so easily fakable that you shouldn’t call it fake - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvcuZhDWLgg&feature=player_embedded
3. Two alternative explanations for your comment. One is that the paid dating coaches want to protect their market. Two is that you strawmanned my argument when you presented it to them (perhaps by saying I intend to learn painstackingly every single movement of flirting from an acting coach then reproduce them entirely system 1, which is not at all what I said).
4. Sure that is true. But you can do habitual behaviors like eyecontact and good posture and still have a playful emotional state. Basically all of sports requires you to perform habitual behaviors and have a playful emotional state.
What would you being right lead me to predict? That making more eye contact but being slightly more tense will be a bit confusing to a date. That seems plausible, but unlikely. And if that does occur, changing tactics will be super easy. What would you being wrong lead me to predict? I might permanently flirt 50% better at in-person. Cost-benefit is still super positive.
So far my reductionist conclusions have been getting way more attention than conventional wisdom, so I’ll lean on them.
I would never consciously train a fake smile for the purpose of it being visible to other people because I have no problem to trigger the emotional shift that leads to a smile if I want to which actually leads to all those muscles around the eyes actually doing what they are supposed to do with a real smile.
If you want to learn better posture, then an actor is not a person who has the skill set that’s focused on teaching you posture. They might have had an Alexander technique course in their training and try to teach you posture based on it, but you likely get much better returns if you actually go to an Alexander technique trainer.
A more generalized way would also be to take martial arts classes. They teach you how to use your body in a way where it’s more expressive.
Most of my perspective of those people comes from an enviroment where I spent 10 days at a retreat along with a bunch of guys who are into personal development.
Some of them do earn their money with the dating market and that involves writing “How to have good eye contact with girls” articles because those are high traffic keywords on Google even when it’s not what they consider to be most helpful.
It’s worth noting that while the title is all about body language it involves him saying that coming with existing friends to the pub and having fun with them is part of the behavior he recommends to have good bodylanguage. “Have a good time with everybody” Having a good time with everybody is being uninhibited. A lot of attempts to consciously slow down your body language will create inhibition.
This is also a typical structure of this kind of dating advice. It hooks people who are into optimizing bodylanguage with the title and then a short bit of information and then spends the bulk of the time recommending what’s actually believed to be useful, in this case having established relationships where you have fun with other people instead of coming in alone.
You are implying I won’t do the other practices. I agree that Luke Progs other points are higher cost-benefit and should be done first. But just because other things pass cost-benefit does not mean the body language changes also do not.
Anyway, we’ve presented our pro and con arguments. I’m gonna go test it. Will report back.