Like shminux said, don’t sweat karma. It’s not a big deal. I cared way too much about karma when I first joined, because this was the first time I’d found an internet community whose opinions I genuinely respected. I still care too much about it, but not nearly as much as I did. I think you got the negative karma primarily because of tone—as several people mentioned, and you’ve acknowledged, you came across as “a dark lord on the mission to bind people to his will and be like you”. My impression is that you have a tendency to write this way. Which isn’t a terrible thing, you should just be aware of it. People rarely understand you exactly as you mean them to. Secondarily, I think you got it because changing other people’s mind isn’t really an exercise in rationality, as rationality is fairly rarely convincing to people. Lastly, it may be to poor editing “he has devoted his life to already invested a lot of it in religion”, and “I haven’t been able to change nobody’s mind”. I make mistakes like this all the time, when I go back and change part of a sentence and forget to change the other. (For the record, if anyone notices mistakes like this in my writing, please point them out to me, because I’m morbidly embarrassed when look at my recent comments and I have a three day old comment with improper subject verb agreement) But it makes your (or my) post look like it’s unpolished and you didn’t put any effort into it. Alternatively, if English is not your native language, as is the case for many users, you may want to put a disclaimer at the beginning of your posts. The welcome thread also has information on people who can give you English help.
Is it that the majority of LessWrong thinks that it’s bad to change someone’s mind even when it’s only for his own good?
Well the way you phrase it, no. But there are several reasons I wouldn’t try to change someones mind in some of the examples you’ve mentioned. Your programmer friend at Uni is probably too devout to be swayed. Spending what would be about one ninth of his waking day praying does seem like a waste, you’re right. But I don’t think many people who do this could be convinced of atheism regardless. I did find the situation about your “brother” (who I guess isn’t your brother?) compelling, but it would probably be better suited to an open thread. FWIW, my advice is to A. do nice things for him, as moridinamael suggested and B. After doing A. for a little while, address it head on, if it does not work, ask him what you could do to improve your relationship. Express that you enjoy his friendship but have gotten the impression that he thinks XYZ of you. B. may or may not be appropriate given the level of friendship between the two of you, but since you used “brother”, I’m assuming you’re fairly close and that such a conversation wouldn’t be too terribly awkward.
Everyone is the hero of their own story, even the villains.
Like shminux said, don’t sweat karma. It’s not a big deal. I cared way too much about karma when I first joined, because this was the first time I’d found an internet community whose opinions I genuinely respected. I still care too much about it, but not nearly as much as I did. I think you got the negative karma primarily because of tone—as several people mentioned, and you’ve acknowledged, you came across as “a dark lord on the mission to bind people to his will and be like you”. My impression is that you have a tendency to write this way. Which isn’t a terrible thing, you should just be aware of it. People rarely understand you exactly as you mean them to. Secondarily, I think you got it because changing other people’s mind isn’t really an exercise in rationality, as rationality is fairly rarely convincing to people. Lastly, it may be to poor editing “he has devoted his life to already invested a lot of it in religion”, and “I haven’t been able to change nobody’s mind”. I make mistakes like this all the time, when I go back and change part of a sentence and forget to change the other. (For the record, if anyone notices mistakes like this in my writing, please point them out to me, because I’m morbidly embarrassed when look at my recent comments and I have a three day old comment with improper subject verb agreement) But it makes your (or my) post look like it’s unpolished and you didn’t put any effort into it. Alternatively, if English is not your native language, as is the case for many users, you may want to put a disclaimer at the beginning of your posts. The welcome thread also has information on people who can give you English help.
Well the way you phrase it, no. But there are several reasons I wouldn’t try to change someones mind in some of the examples you’ve mentioned. Your programmer friend at Uni is probably too devout to be swayed. Spending what would be about one ninth of his waking day praying does seem like a waste, you’re right. But I don’t think many people who do this could be convinced of atheism regardless. I did find the situation about your “brother” (who I guess isn’t your brother?) compelling, but it would probably be better suited to an open thread. FWIW, my advice is to A. do nice things for him, as moridinamael suggested and B. After doing A. for a little while, address it head on, if it does not work, ask him what you could do to improve your relationship. Express that you enjoy his friendship but have gotten the impression that he thinks XYZ of you. B. may or may not be appropriate given the level of friendship between the two of you, but since you used “brother”, I’m assuming you’re fairly close and that such a conversation wouldn’t be too terribly awkward.