Not a direct response to the post, but on the same broad topic:
It seems to me that many people (e.g., me and several people I’ve discussed this with) have not so much an intrinsic aversion to pain as a fear of how we’ll act if in pain. (As the main effect. I do also simply like not being in pain, but the fear of how the pain will impact my actions is/was often the larger of these two.) So, for example, a person will avoid seeking out bad news about their project not so much because they mind the pain as such, but because they aren’t sure whether they’ll act funny or have trouble working or similar if they’re suddenly sad. Or a person will try to manage their moods not so much to avoid the mood as such, as to avoid being grouchy toward those near them, or to avoid being a downer at the party.
In my experience, increases in my ability to try in deep/effective ways have several times come via decreases in how afraid I was of being sad/upset (and/or increases in my ability to act well despite being sad/upset). Acquiring less of a need to manage my own mood was important and useful for me. When trying to put up a pretense of “everything is okay and I’m fine,” I couldn’t think properly. (I still have some of that, and it is still a barrier to thinking, but less.)
This has seemed true for me despite it also seeming true that when I am trying my best, I am often/usually free and happy. (And that if I look for where I have a “posture of pain”, I can often thereby locate a place where my form is poor and is wasting my energy.) Trying well for me has often involved a sort of happiness.… but first it has often involved pain/fear/similar as I integrate what I do not know how to integrate.
(None of this is intended as advice. I don’t know you, whoever you are who is reading this, and I don’t have a good grasp of how you’re currently put-together and kind-of-stable.)
Not a direct response to the post, but on the same broad topic:
It seems to me that many people (e.g., me and several people I’ve discussed this with) have not so much an intrinsic aversion to pain as a fear of how we’ll act if in pain. (As the main effect. I do also simply like not being in pain, but the fear of how the pain will impact my actions is/was often the larger of these two.) So, for example, a person will avoid seeking out bad news about their project not so much because they mind the pain as such, but because they aren’t sure whether they’ll act funny or have trouble working or similar if they’re suddenly sad. Or a person will try to manage their moods not so much to avoid the mood as such, as to avoid being grouchy toward those near them, or to avoid being a downer at the party.
In my experience, increases in my ability to try in deep/effective ways have several times come via decreases in how afraid I was of being sad/upset (and/or increases in my ability to act well despite being sad/upset). Acquiring less of a need to manage my own mood was important and useful for me. When trying to put up a pretense of “everything is okay and I’m fine,” I couldn’t think properly. (I still have some of that, and it is still a barrier to thinking, but less.)
This has seemed true for me despite it also seeming true that when I am trying my best, I am often/usually free and happy. (And that if I look for where I have a “posture of pain”, I can often thereby locate a place where my form is poor and is wasting my energy.) Trying well for me has often involved a sort of happiness.… but first it has often involved pain/fear/similar as I integrate what I do not know how to integrate.
(None of this is intended as advice. I don’t know you, whoever you are who is reading this, and I don’t have a good grasp of how you’re currently put-together and kind-of-stable.)