That viewpoint can be considered as based upon Skinners model of Behaviourism, it’s been shown to be less effective for learning than being positive.
I agree that saying “Good job putting down that toy” to my 22-month-old is more effective at reducing throwing of his toys than saying “Don’t throw toys.” And extinction works great on tantrums.
But you seem to be overgeneralizing the point a bit. When dealing with competent adults, saying “X is wrong” is an effective way of improving the listener’s beliefs. If the speaker doesn’t justify the assertion, that will and should effect whether the listener changes beliefs.
Of course, this is probably bad management style. We might explain that fact about people-management by invoking psychological bias, power imbalance, or something else. But here, we’re just having a discussion. No one is asserting a right to authority over anyone else.
Without necessarily asserting its truth, this just-so story/parable might help:
For various social reasons, popular kids and nerds have developed very different politeness rules. Popular kids are used to respect, so they accept everything that they hear. As a consequence, they think relatively carefully before saying something, because their experience is that what is said will be taken seriously. By contrast, nerds seldom receive social respect from their peers. Therefore, they seldom take what is said to them to heart. As a consequence, nerds don’t tend to think before they speak, because their experience is that the listener will filter out a fair amount of what is said. In brief, the popular filter at the mouth, the nerds filter at the ear.
This all works fine (more or less) when communicating within type. But you can imagine the problems when a nerd says something mean to a popular, expecting that it will be filtered out. Or a popular says something only vaguely nice, but the nerd removes negative that isn’t there and hears sincere and deep interest.
TimS, I’m glad we agree on several points, extinction and positive reinforcement of children.
I wonder why these methods are espoused for children, yet tend to be used less for “competent adults”.
Thanks for planting the seed that I might be overgeneralizing the point a bit, I’ll keep an eye on that.
I am reminded that saying “X is wrong” to an adult with a belief is ineffective in many circumstances, most notably the circumstance were the belief is a preconception, based in emotion or more specifically an irrational belief. Is this not one consequence of bias? That a person, in some cases/topics, won’t update their beliefs and indeed strengthen their belief in the counterargument against the updating. Presumably you’ve read http://lesswrong.com/lw/he/knowing_about_biases_can_hurt_people/
Which alludes to how knowledge of bias can be used dismissively, i.e. an irrational use of a rationale.
“Why logical argument has never been successful at changing prejudices, beliefs, emotions or perceptions. Why these things can be changed only through perception.” De Bono, “I am right, you are wrong”.
De Bono discusses this extensively.
If the belief is rational, and perhaps that’s one component of what you consider a “competent adult”, the adult could be more open to updating the fact/knowledge—yet even this situation has a wealth of counter examples, such that there is a term for it—belief perseverance.
In my experience unsolicited advice is rarely accepted regardless of its utility and veracity. Perhaps I communicate with many closed minds, or perhaps I am merely experiencing the availability heuristic in context of our discussion.
I agree that saying “Good job putting down that toy” to my 22-month-old is more effective at reducing throwing of his toys than saying “Don’t throw toys.” And extinction works great on tantrums.
But you seem to be overgeneralizing the point a bit. When dealing with competent adults, saying “X is wrong” is an effective way of improving the listener’s beliefs. If the speaker doesn’t justify the assertion, that will and should effect whether the listener changes beliefs.
Of course, this is probably bad management style. We might explain that fact about people-management by invoking psychological bias, power imbalance, or something else. But here, we’re just having a discussion. No one is asserting a right to authority over anyone else.
Without necessarily asserting its truth, this just-so story/parable might help:
For various social reasons, popular kids and nerds have developed very different politeness rules. Popular kids are used to respect, so they accept everything that they hear. As a consequence, they think relatively carefully before saying something, because their experience is that what is said will be taken seriously. By contrast, nerds seldom receive social respect from their peers. Therefore, they seldom take what is said to them to heart. As a consequence, nerds don’t tend to think before they speak, because their experience is that the listener will filter out a fair amount of what is said. In brief, the popular filter at the mouth, the nerds filter at the ear.
This all works fine (more or less) when communicating within type. But you can imagine the problems when a nerd says something mean to a popular, expecting that it will be filtered out. Or a popular says something only vaguely nice, but the nerd removes negative that isn’t there and hears sincere and deep interest.
TimS, I’m glad we agree on several points, extinction and positive reinforcement of children. I wonder why these methods are espoused for children, yet tend to be used less for “competent adults”. Thanks for planting the seed that I might be overgeneralizing the point a bit, I’ll keep an eye on that.
I am reminded that saying “X is wrong” to an adult with a belief is ineffective in many circumstances, most notably the circumstance were the belief is a preconception, based in emotion or more specifically an irrational belief. Is this not one consequence of bias? That a person, in some cases/topics, won’t update their beliefs and indeed strengthen their belief in the counterargument against the updating. Presumably you’ve read http://lesswrong.com/lw/he/knowing_about_biases_can_hurt_people/ Which alludes to how knowledge of bias can be used dismissively, i.e. an irrational use of a rationale.
“Why logical argument has never been successful at changing prejudices, beliefs, emotions or perceptions. Why these things can be changed only through perception.” De Bono, “I am right, you are wrong”. De Bono discusses this extensively.
If the belief is rational, and perhaps that’s one component of what you consider a “competent adult”, the adult could be more open to updating the fact/knowledge—yet even this situation has a wealth of counter examples, such that there is a term for it—belief perseverance.
In my experience unsolicited advice is rarely accepted regardless of its utility and veracity. Perhaps I communicate with many closed minds, or perhaps I am merely experiencing the availability heuristic in context of our discussion.