I think power imbalance leads to passive aggression much more than the Hint or Ask character of the culture.
Hint and Ask are basically preferred communication protocols and most Hint people I know will adjust if the hints are clearly not working. But there is a big difference between
Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Dear, can you please take out the garbage?
and
Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. You never pay any attention to me and you screwed up my whole life, you ungrateful bastard!
I think power imbalance leads to passive aggression much more than the Hint or Ask character of the culture.
But that is largely the same thing. The classical boss-subordinate relationship is ask (order) down, guess up. Passive-aggression is extreme (angry, upset) guess, active aggression is extreme (angry, upset) ask/order.
When whole cultures are all-ask or all-guess that is probably a sign of egalitarianism—within that subset.
The classical boss-subordinate relationship is ask (order) down, guess up.
It’s more complicated. Ask/tell is simpler, faster, and more efficient so in the workplace (where status and power relationships are largely formalized) it tends to dominate anyway.
Also, as anecdata, I know a girl who is a very pronounced Hint/Guess person, but she’s a manager and has underlings. She quite successfully manages them mostly on the Hint/Guess basis (within reason, of course).
It seems plausible that Hint cultures lead to passive aggression—if you can’t be just plain aggressive, what have you got left?
I think power imbalance leads to passive aggression much more than the Hint or Ask character of the culture.
Hint and Ask are basically preferred communication protocols and most Hint people I know will adjust if the hints are clearly not working. But there is a big difference between
Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Dear, can you please take out the garbage?
and
Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. Glance at garbage. You never pay any attention to me and you screwed up my whole life, you ungrateful bastard!
But that is largely the same thing. The classical boss-subordinate relationship is ask (order) down, guess up. Passive-aggression is extreme (angry, upset) guess, active aggression is extreme (angry, upset) ask/order.
When whole cultures are all-ask or all-guess that is probably a sign of egalitarianism—within that subset.
It’s more complicated. Ask/tell is simpler, faster, and more efficient so in the workplace (where status and power relationships are largely formalized) it tends to dominate anyway.
Also, as anecdata, I know a girl who is a very pronounced Hint/Guess person, but she’s a manager and has underlings. She quite successfully manages them mostly on the Hint/Guess basis (within reason, of course).