I can see how reframing could work for the particular example of game like tasks, however I can’t find similar workaround for the problems I’m facing and even if I could I don’t have the skill to reframe and self modify with sufficient reliability.
I asked a girl out today shortly after having a conversation with her. She said no and I was crushed. Within five seconds I had reframed as “Woo, I made a move! In daytime in a non-pub environment! Progress on flirting!”
My apologies if the response is flip but I suggest going from “I did the right thing, woo!” to “I made the optimal action given my knowledge, that’s kinda awesome, innit?”
that’s still the same class of problem: “screwed over by circumstances beyond reasonable control”. Stretching it to full generality, “I made the optimal decision given my knowledge, intelligence, rationality, willpower, state of mind, and character flaws”, only makes the framing WORSE because you remember how many things you suck at.
I asked a girl out today shortly after having a conversation with her. She said no and I was crushed. Within five seconds I had reframed as “Woo, I made a move! In daytime in a non-pub environment! Progress on flirting!”
My apologies if the response is flip but I suggest going from “I did the right thing, woo!” to “I made the optimal action given my knowledge, that’s kinda awesome, innit?”
that’s still the same class of problem: “screwed over by circumstances beyond reasonable control”. Stretching it to full generality, “I made the optimal decision given my knowledge, intelligence, rationality, willpower, state of mind, and character flaws”, only makes the framing WORSE because you remember how many things you suck at.