OP here. In case you’ve found this post via Google (as I did unexpectedly, having found my own post when searching for something different) and are wondering how I’m faring now, rest easy: I transitioned years ago, and now live a much, much happier life now than I did when I wrote this post. I live as a woman, I’ve become a lot more social and (IMO) a lot less socially awkward, friends and strangers don’t even realize I’m trans (or if any do, they aren’t showing it and aren’t treating me any differently).
I didn’t regret my transition even once.
My views on gender identity have become more nuanced since I wrote this post. My 2010 self overcomplicated things when they didn’t need to be this complicated. “Feeling X on the inside” may well be an untestable proposition, but quality of life and positive impressions by other people are definitely facts about the real, observable world.
I see now that my fear that my belief was irrational — that nothing could convince me I was wrong about my gender identity — was unfounded. If I had regretted my transition and detransitioned, that would have been the evidence that my initial judgment was wrong. Instead, in hindsight, the hypothesis has stood the test of time, and transition was one of the best, most life-improving decisions I’ve ever made.
If anyone who once commented on this post is reading this: thank you all for your support and encouragement!
OP here. In case you’ve found this post via Google (as I did unexpectedly, having found my own post when searching for something different) and are wondering how I’m faring now, rest easy: I transitioned years ago, and now live a much, much happier life now than I did when I wrote this post. I live as a woman, I’ve become a lot more social and (IMO) a lot less socially awkward, friends and strangers don’t even realize I’m trans (or if any do, they aren’t showing it and aren’t treating me any differently).
I didn’t regret my transition even once.
My views on gender identity have become more nuanced since I wrote this post. My 2010 self overcomplicated things when they didn’t need to be this complicated. “Feeling X on the inside” may well be an untestable proposition, but quality of life and positive impressions by other people are definitely facts about the real, observable world.
I see now that my fear that my belief was irrational — that nothing could convince me I was wrong about my gender identity — was unfounded. If I had regretted my transition and detransitioned, that would have been the evidence that my initial judgment was wrong. Instead, in hindsight, the hypothesis has stood the test of time, and transition was one of the best, most life-improving decisions I’ve ever made.
If anyone who once commented on this post is reading this: thank you all for your support and encouragement!