I think a good version of this would be something I’ve not seen much before: a structured authentic relating activity as part of the upswing of the service. There was something like this a few years ago at a Bay Area Solstice where people wrote on notes they posted to the walls. As I recall the prompt was something like “what is something I’m privately afraid of and not telling others”, although maybe I’m mixing that up from another event. I think we could come up with something similar for future events that would help people connect and remind them that they are connected, even if they can’t see the face of those they are connected to.
I think none of this is to draw away from the darkness. Make the low point low and dark and full of woe. But match it with a high point of brightness and joy that actually pulls people together and connects them without backfiring and throwing in their face the way others are connected and they are not.
Yeah, something in this space sounds right.
There were also people who just wanted space process the ceremony after the event, in a more positive way (like, reflect on what they wanted to change about their life). I think those people would probably need something different from people who were harmed-in-some-way by the event, but similar infrastructure might benefit both.
I’m reminded of a funeral I ran once, where afterwards most people needed to escape from the funeral atmosphere and chat/party/etc to connect with each other in low key social ways, but a few people were like “I’m still real sad how are you all having fun as if he’s not DEAD!?” and that gave me a general update about competing access needs after ritual events.
Having had a couple days to sit with this thread, I think it’s worth adding that I’m willing to participate in addressing this issue in future Solstice celebrations (so for 2020 at least). I think I’m a poor choice for lots of things related to Solstice organizing because I’m not close enough to the core of rationalist culture to reliably drive things in ways most rationalists would like, but within the context of a team that is doing that I think I could probably have a positive impact on the Solstice experience by pushing it to better incorporate the kinds of things I have in mind and that would be effective at achieving their ends, though I am also happy to defer to others if they are motivated to do this and think they can succeed.
Put another way, if I just complain and point out the problem and offer some suggestions for who to fix it that’s not enough to make change happen, so since I think this is important I think it’s important enough that I should try to do something about it with my actions rather than just my words.
Yeah, something in this space sounds right.
There were also people who just wanted space process the ceremony after the event, in a more positive way (like, reflect on what they wanted to change about their life). I think those people would probably need something different from people who were harmed-in-some-way by the event, but similar infrastructure might benefit both.
I’m reminded of a funeral I ran once, where afterwards most people needed to escape from the funeral atmosphere and chat/party/etc to connect with each other in low key social ways, but a few people were like “I’m still real sad how are you all having fun as if he’s not DEAD!?” and that gave me a general update about competing access needs after ritual events.
Having had a couple days to sit with this thread, I think it’s worth adding that I’m willing to participate in addressing this issue in future Solstice celebrations (so for 2020 at least). I think I’m a poor choice for lots of things related to Solstice organizing because I’m not close enough to the core of rationalist culture to reliably drive things in ways most rationalists would like, but within the context of a team that is doing that I think I could probably have a positive impact on the Solstice experience by pushing it to better incorporate the kinds of things I have in mind and that would be effective at achieving their ends, though I am also happy to defer to others if they are motivated to do this and think they can succeed.
Put another way, if I just complain and point out the problem and offer some suggestions for who to fix it that’s not enough to make change happen, so since I think this is important I think it’s important enough that I should try to do something about it with my actions rather than just my words.