if you are highly attracted to someone, a PUA might encourage you to meditate on how known biases such as the affect heuristic and the halo effect might influence your perception of the person you are attracted to. While this may not directly affect your attraction to that person, it will nonetheless allow you to behave more rationally and improve your overall outlook in romantic matters.
I’ve already done that, and that’s not PUA, that’s rationalism. Also, thinking rationally doesn’t attenuate the feelings one bit, it just makes you better at achieving what you want to do in the moment.
I’ve already done that, and that’s not PUA, that’s rationalism.
Says who? You seem to be artificially restricting ‘PUA’ in that “only the bad parts count”. But that’s reference class tennis—it doesn’t help us address the original question.
Interestingly, even if you object to using the term “PUA” for broadly acceptable practices (and this might be quite sensible on historical grounds), that hardly prevents groups—such as the Reddit group /r/letsgetlaid (caution: possibly NSFW) [1] - from drawing on the seduction community’s knowledge about human interaction as a way of improving one’s romantic success, while holding to strict ethical standards.
[1] It’s quite early to say whether this particular approach will be successful. One reason for skepticism is that past attempts along the same lines (e.g. the ‘be suave’ community) have tended to devolve into repeating meaningless or wrong-headed truisms. Nonetheless, I view this effort as more likely to be helpful, partly because the ethic of “sex positivity” has improved the ‘political’ climate around what used to be quite uncomfortable ideas.
Says who? You seem to be artificially restricting ‘PUA’ in that “only the bad parts count”. But that’s reference class tennis—it doesn’t help us address the original question.
Let me rephrase that; “That’s simply the application of the universal rationalist principles of maintaining an awareness of one’s own biases and compensating for them, it does not include any special insights or techniques, and would be equally relevant in any situation where your feelings might get the better of you.” Just like “keep your distance from an enemy and wait at for opportune time to strike” is general strategic advice, not martial arts, and “don’t leave stuff on the fire without observation” is basic safety rather than a cooking technique.
drawing on the seduction community’s knowledge about human interaction as a way of improving one’s romantic success, while holding to strict ethical standards
That’s simply the application of the universal rationalist principles of maintaining an awareness of one’s own biases and compensating for them...
Um, many things appear ‘simple’ and ‘obvious’ in hindsight, but this does not make them any less helpful. If for nothing else, the PUA community deserves credit for actively experimenting with this idea and reporting positive results, thus raising it to our attention as something that’s potentially useful.
Maybe if you’re talking about the general public, but no Lesswronger worth his salt is going to forget about these essential biases when attempting to compensate for how being in love may affect their judgement.
Rather, the point is to come up with principles and policies to follow, to compensate for those biases, knowing that, while they are high on love, they will not think or care to do so on their own. Mental preparation, “being set”, is essential for avoiding mistakes while in mind-altered states.
I’ve already done that, and that’s not PUA, that’s rationalism. Also, thinking rationally doesn’t attenuate the feelings one bit, it just makes you better at achieving what you want to do in the moment.
Says who? You seem to be artificially restricting ‘PUA’ in that “only the bad parts count”. But that’s reference class tennis—it doesn’t help us address the original question.
Interestingly, even if you object to using the term “PUA” for broadly acceptable practices (and this might be quite sensible on historical grounds), that hardly prevents groups—such as the Reddit group /r/letsgetlaid (caution: possibly NSFW) [1] - from drawing on the seduction community’s knowledge about human interaction as a way of improving one’s romantic success, while holding to strict ethical standards.
[1] It’s quite early to say whether this particular approach will be successful. One reason for skepticism is that past attempts along the same lines (e.g. the ‘be suave’ community) have tended to devolve into repeating meaningless or wrong-headed truisms. Nonetheless, I view this effort as more likely to be helpful, partly because the ethic of “sex positivity” has improved the ‘political’ climate around what used to be quite uncomfortable ideas.
Let me rephrase that; “That’s simply the application of the universal rationalist principles of maintaining an awareness of one’s own biases and compensating for them, it does not include any special insights or techniques, and would be equally relevant in any situation where your feelings might get the better of you.” Just like “keep your distance from an enemy and wait at for opportune time to strike” is general strategic advice, not martial arts, and “don’t leave stuff on the fire without observation” is basic safety rather than a cooking technique.
That sounds like something I’d love to see.
Um, many things appear ‘simple’ and ‘obvious’ in hindsight, but this does not make them any less helpful. If for nothing else, the PUA community deserves credit for actively experimenting with this idea and reporting positive results, thus raising it to our attention as something that’s potentially useful.
Maybe if you’re talking about the general public, but no Lesswronger worth his salt is going to forget about these essential biases when attempting to compensate for how being in love may affect their judgement.
Rather, the point is to come up with principles and policies to follow, to compensate for those biases, knowing that, while they are high on love, they will not think or care to do so on their own. Mental preparation, “being set”, is essential for avoiding mistakes while in mind-altered states.