It just runs counter to my own experience and observation. Deflecting the request with a joke would be an effective way to avoid getting played for free drinks, if you think that’s what’s going on, or of politely declining if you’re just not interested, but it doesn’t seem like a generally effective, or commonly practiced, method of actually parlaying the interaction into a “score”—not unless you happen to be dealing with the kind of person who’s attracted to assholes. My impression is that these kind of PUA style techniques are geared towards successfully picking up people with low self esteem. That may work, but I think it’s a mistake to draw conclusions from that about “normal” social interaction.
I am very confused by this comment. Who are you talking about as the “asshole” in this scenario? I think you may be misunderstanding it. The idea is that two people are talking and flirting, and the girl asks the guy for something (like a drink, but it could be anything: taking a picture, helping her with something) at which point the guy teases her about it. I’m not seeing anything about low self esteem here.
Who are you talking about as the “asshole” in this scenario?
The guy who says “no” when, in the middle of flirting, a girl asks for a drink. This just doesn’t happen IRL unless the guy is intentionally trying to shut down the interaction.
Just my own personal experience. I guess maybe I phrased that a little strongly for something based entirely on anecdotal evidence. And I guess I should have added a caveat like “This just doesn’t happen unless the guy is intentionally trying to shut down the interaction, or has studied PUA techniques, or is Richard Feynman”.
It just runs counter to my own experience and observation. Deflecting the request with a joke would be an effective way to avoid getting played for free drinks, if you think that’s what’s going on, or of politely declining if you’re just not interested, but it doesn’t seem like a generally effective, or commonly practiced, method of actually parlaying the interaction into a “score”—not unless you happen to be dealing with the kind of person who’s attracted to assholes. My impression is that these kind of PUA style techniques are geared towards successfully picking up people with low self esteem. That may work, but I think it’s a mistake to draw conclusions from that about “normal” social interaction.
I am very confused by this comment. Who are you talking about as the “asshole” in this scenario? I think you may be misunderstanding it. The idea is that two people are talking and flirting, and the girl asks the guy for something (like a drink, but it could be anything: taking a picture, helping her with something) at which point the guy teases her about it. I’m not seeing anything about low self esteem here.
The guy who says “no” when, in the middle of flirting, a girl asks for a drink. This just doesn’t happen IRL unless the guy is intentionally trying to shut down the interaction.
Could you explain your basis for this claim a little more?
Just my own personal experience. I guess maybe I phrased that a little strongly for something based entirely on anecdotal evidence. And I guess I should have added a caveat like “This just doesn’t happen unless the guy is intentionally trying to shut down the interaction, or has studied PUA techniques, or is Richard Feynman”.
I guess the kind of person who is not attracted to assholes wouldn’t ask a stranger for a drink in the first place, would they?