Allow me to express polite but strong skepticism on this point. I would be very much surprised to find that they accpet literally EVERYONE.
I doubt they meant literally EVERYONE. I’m guessing Garin and Vanessa just meant that they’re in the top percent of non-judgmentally accepting people. Just as if someone says to me ‘I get along with everyone,’ I don’t interpret it as meaning they get along with literally every single person on the planet, I interpret it as something weaker like ‘Of the people I know, I get along with almost all of them, and have a good chance of clicking with random people I meet.’
You make a valid point that the comfort zone of even the most tolerant people is unlikely to extend to random panhandlers, and if Garin and Vanessa spend 99% of their time with self help gurus and marketing conference attendees, they’re probably overestimating their acceptance-ness.
I don’t think this is fatal to pjeby’s main point, though; it sounds likely to me that a lot of people who dislike small talk could probably improve their social hit rate by turning up their acceptance-ness knob.
(Edited to fix Garin’s (not Gavin’s!) name. Note to self: read what’s on the screen, not what I think is on the screen.)
if Gavin [sic] and Vanessa spend 99% of their time with self help gurus and marketing conference attendees, they’re probably overestimating their acceptance-ness.
At the time of those conferences, they spent 99% of their time on cruise ships, working as entertainers. So I they spent a lot more time with tourists and ship staff than with their internet marketing colleagues.
I doubt they meant literally EVERYONE.
And I find it difficult to imagine that they didn’t mean it. I had the impression that for Vanessa at least (I haven’t interviewed Garin for anything, at least not yet), it was a matter of principle.
I don’t mean that they’re saints or that I don’t think they’d ever have a bad day and lose their temper or anything, but I do believe they sincerely look for the (potential) good in literally everyone they encounter, even if there’s some distinct possibility that they might miss it or that it might not be there to be found.
Think of it like being a rationalist aspiration to always tell the truth and never self-decieve: setting that as your aspiration does not mean you always can or will accomplish it, but at the same time, it doesn’t mean your aspiration should be downgraded to “being in the top percentage” of truth-telling and non self-deception!
At the time of those conferences, they spent 99% of their time on cruise ships, working as entertainers. So I they spent a lot more time with tourists and ship staff than with their internet marketing colleagues.
Ah, fair enough.
And I find it difficult to imagine that they didn’t mean it.
Think of it like being a rationalist aspiration to always tell the truth and never self-decieve: setting that as your aspiration does not mean you always can or will accomplish it, but at the same time, it doesn’t mean your aspiration should be downgraded to “being in the top percentage” of truth-telling and non self-deception!
It also doesn’t mean you get to claim that you always tell the truth and never self decieve.
Having known some people who made “accepting everyone” and “being non-judgemental” a point of honour and seen the results, I find it very hard to believe that is possible to be successful and really live up to those ideals. I also don’t think they’re very good ideals.
I doubt they meant literally EVERYONE. I’m guessing Garin and Vanessa just meant that they’re in the top percent of non-judgmentally accepting people. Just as if someone says to me ‘I get along with everyone,’ I don’t interpret it as meaning they get along with literally every single person on the planet, I interpret it as something weaker like ‘Of the people I know, I get along with almost all of them, and have a good chance of clicking with random people I meet.’
You make a valid point that the comfort zone of even the most tolerant people is unlikely to extend to random panhandlers, and if Garin and Vanessa spend 99% of their time with self help gurus and marketing conference attendees, they’re probably overestimating their acceptance-ness.
I don’t think this is fatal to pjeby’s main point, though; it sounds likely to me that a lot of people who dislike small talk could probably improve their social hit rate by turning up their acceptance-ness knob.
(Edited to fix Garin’s (not Gavin’s!) name. Note to self: read what’s on the screen, not what I think is on the screen.)
At the time of those conferences, they spent 99% of their time on cruise ships, working as entertainers. So I they spent a lot more time with tourists and ship staff than with their internet marketing colleagues.
And I find it difficult to imagine that they didn’t mean it. I had the impression that for Vanessa at least (I haven’t interviewed Garin for anything, at least not yet), it was a matter of principle.
I don’t mean that they’re saints or that I don’t think they’d ever have a bad day and lose their temper or anything, but I do believe they sincerely look for the (potential) good in literally everyone they encounter, even if there’s some distinct possibility that they might miss it or that it might not be there to be found.
Think of it like being a rationalist aspiration to always tell the truth and never self-decieve: setting that as your aspiration does not mean you always can or will accomplish it, but at the same time, it doesn’t mean your aspiration should be downgraded to “being in the top percentage” of truth-telling and non self-deception!
Ah, fair enough.
!
It also doesn’t mean you get to claim that you always tell the truth and never self decieve.
Having known some people who made “accepting everyone” and “being non-judgemental” a point of honour and seen the results, I find it very hard to believe that is possible to be successful and really live up to those ideals. I also don’t think they’re very good ideals.