The statement you find so mindkilling would follow.
Not really. It is true, I think, that more men than women share my interests, but it doesn’t follow that more men are interesting (to me). I’ve met women (and men) who I have very little in common with interests-wise, but who I still consider extremely interesting people. An example: I’m not all that interested in surfing but I have a number of friends who are really into it and I’ve had fascinating conversations with them about surfing.
Being able to take a certain amount of vicarious pleasure in another person’s enthusiasms, even if you do not share those enthusiasms, seems like a useful social skill to develop (and I do think it’s trainable).
Fair enough, but if this hypothetical character is not interested in people at all, I don’t see why he cares about the gender distribution of people who share his interests. The implication seems to be that this person is interested in social contact, and uses his other interests as a filter to decide who he spends time with. My suggestion was that the desire for social contact might be more effectively satisfied if the person trained himself to be able to talk about (and at least temporarily be interested in learning about) things that he isn’t immediately interested in.
I wouldn’t characterize myself as merely being interested in people, incidentally, because my desire to converse with other people about their interests isn’t indiscriminate. I doubt I could sustain an interesting conversation with someone who is really into the life and work of Kim Kardashian, for instance.
I would characterize the condition you describe as being interested in people.
I originally intended to post something similar but more pointed. Since your post didn’t quite attain the suitable level of pointedness, I replied to your post instead of the original.
That is, I originally intended to post something like (combining the wording of your and my posts):
I’d characterize that condition as being interested in how people work and universal human experience.
Not really. It is true, I think, that more men than women share my interests, but it doesn’t follow that more men are interesting (to me). I’ve met women (and men) who I have very little in common with interests-wise, but who I still consider extremely interesting people. An example: I’m not all that interested in surfing but I have a number of friends who are really into it and I’ve had fascinating conversations with them about surfing.
Being able to take a certain amount of vicarious pleasure in another person’s enthusiasms, even if you do not share those enthusiasms, seems like a useful social skill to develop (and I do think it’s trainable).
I would characterize the condition you describe as being interested in people. (It applies to me as well.)
Kawoomba’s hypothetical posits that “you” aren’t interested in people, merely in computer games, programming and rationality forums.
Fair enough, but if this hypothetical character is not interested in people at all, I don’t see why he cares about the gender distribution of people who share his interests. The implication seems to be that this person is interested in social contact, and uses his other interests as a filter to decide who he spends time with. My suggestion was that the desire for social contact might be more effectively satisfied if the person trained himself to be able to talk about (and at least temporarily be interested in learning about) things that he isn’t immediately interested in.
I wouldn’t characterize myself as merely being interested in people, incidentally, because my desire to converse with other people about their interests isn’t indiscriminate. I doubt I could sustain an interesting conversation with someone who is really into the life and work of Kim Kardashian, for instance.
I was hoping your reply was the ‘more pointed summary’ I intended to post, but since it’s not:
.. Being interested in how people work and universal human experiences.
I don’t follow what you meant to express here.
You wrote
I originally intended to post something similar but more pointed. Since your post didn’t quite attain the suitable level of pointedness, I replied to your post instead of the original.
That is, I originally intended to post something like (combining the wording of your and my posts):
Ah, I see. Thanks for the clarification.