Here’s what I think of as an optimal situation: For a very long time I’ve thought of ginger ale as a better idea in theory than in fact. Recently, a little gourmet shop opened nearby. The owners make some efforts to Sell me things, but don’t apply so much pressure I feel rolled over. Sometimes I like what I buy, sometimes I don’t, occasionally it seems wildly overpriced.
Fevertree ginger naturally light ginger beer is the ginger ale that’s been lurking in the back of my mind. Nobody had to tell me that I was going to like it. The packaging isn’t especially notable. I have actual preferences.
Perhaps someday I will find onion rings which are as good as my idea of onion rings.
The thing is, we all like to be Sold, Led, Dominated; if I walk into Subway, and I ask the kid at the counter to give me his Best Submarine Sandwich, I want him to tell me what I want, and make me love it after it’s paid for. The last thing he should do is say that “They’re all good!” and make me regret the [(5 breads)x(16 meats)x(212 Toppings)-1] subs that I didn’t get.3 Retail is the Dark Arts Done Right (usually). The Sales Lady figures out what I want, uses her expertise to find the best fit, and then kills the cognitive dissonance that could ruin my enjoyment of the product; “You really pull off that colour. Seriously, that jacket looks great on you – you see how these lines naturally compliment your shoulders? Of course you can!”
Please take my word for it that I don’t want the kid at the counter to make me love the sandwich. This is not my kink. I can appreciate presentation. I like dealing with pleasant people. Now that I know something about Baysianism, if I have no idea what I want, I might ask for the most popular selection.
I can’t imagine wanting or trusting the opinion of a sales clerk about clothing—their job is to sell it, not to have good judgment about how I look. I suppose that if I were more interested in clothes, I might find some sales clerks whose opinions I respected, but that’s still not the same as wanting them to sprinkle pixie dust.
Hugh, my paranoid reading is that you don’t think I should have boundaries about what I want. It’s possible that there’s just something about the way I write about it that sets you off. The non-paranoid reading is that you don’t think anyone should have boundaries about what they want.
I suppose it’s a boundary thing, but I’m content to let you have your personality structure. I really don’t think this aspect of mine is doing me any harm.
Here’s what I think of as an optimal situation: For a very long time I’ve thought of ginger ale as a better idea in theory than in fact. Recently, a little gourmet shop opened nearby. The owners make some efforts to Sell me things, but don’t apply so much pressure I feel rolled over. Sometimes I like what I buy, sometimes I don’t, occasionally it seems wildly overpriced.
Fevertree ginger naturally light ginger beer is the ginger ale that’s been lurking in the back of my mind. Nobody had to tell me that I was going to like it. The packaging isn’t especially notable. I have actual preferences.
Perhaps someday I will find onion rings which are as good as my idea of onion rings.
Please take my word for it that I don’t want the kid at the counter to make me love the sandwich. This is not my kink. I can appreciate presentation. I like dealing with pleasant people. Now that I know something about Baysianism, if I have no idea what I want, I might ask for the most popular selection.
I can’t imagine wanting or trusting the opinion of a sales clerk about clothing—their job is to sell it, not to have good judgment about how I look. I suppose that if I were more interested in clothes, I might find some sales clerks whose opinions I respected, but that’s still not the same as wanting them to sprinkle pixie dust.
Hugh, my paranoid reading is that you don’t think I should have boundaries about what I want. It’s possible that there’s just something about the way I write about it that sets you off. The non-paranoid reading is that you don’t think anyone should have boundaries about what they want.
I suppose it’s a boundary thing, but I’m content to let you have your personality structure. I really don’t think this aspect of mine is doing me any harm.